Life in a parallel world, just one Universe over from our own.

Happy September everyone! Summer's days are numbered. Soon, the leaves will be turning those riotous fall colors. Yellows, oranges and reds are just around the corner on every Homeland Security Terror-Alert Chart. It must be an election year! Be prepared to be scared again. As always, it'll work on some folks. But even there, latest reactions to trumped up threats seem to show Chicken Little's losing his effectiveness no matter how fuckin' loud he screams.

Yet, you might want to think about beating the crowds. Maybe shop early for your bottled waters and Duck® Tapes! If recent polls reflecting declining approval ratings are any indicator, it could be a really terrifying, really colorful autumn this time around.

Certainly the purging of voter rolls, harassment of registered democratic voters in Florida, California, Ohio, New Mexico, etc., etc. etc., the trashing of the ballots of those who make it through the gauntlet of vote eliminating and vote negating tactics, not to mention those incidious voting machines misrecording our votes as tallies for the republican incumbents or little Joe Lieberman are going to be even more prevalent this time. That's because of Bush's recent approval ratings in the polls, as being reluctantly reported in the media, are going to make theft of this election the most brazen yet.

But in the event this election IS stolen, as I suspect it will be in key senate and house races--after all, war criminal's asses are on the line if they lose--I think we should begin formulating alternative plans.

For example, this very thing has already happened over in our parallel Universe, the one right next to ours. Slightly ahead of us time-wise because when the Big Bang occurred, that Universe reached flashpoint hundreds of billionths of micro nanoseconds before us. That translates into their Universe being about seventeen and 1/2 months older than ours.

Well, as I learned in a dream I had last night (sent by whom? A parallel me over on our parallel Earth in the parallel Universe?), last fall's election there proved to be just more neocon shenanigans, which meant just more of the same old shit, i.e., an administration safely protected from the anger of its citizens, the status quo of government run amok preserved, and continued decline of security for the whole fucking planet.

But one of the things they did over there on our alter-Earth in reaction to another trashing of the people's will, is something I found real amusing. They decided to take things in their own hands!

In that 60% of them disapporved of George Bush's war, they got to figuring. Sixty percent of approximately 300 million folks is about 180 million people. And with about 140,000 troops in Iraq in that Universe, they decided to offer to pay any G.I.'s way home who was so inclined!

They then estimated it would cost about $2,000 per man or woman soldier to transport 'em home if they desired. (On that parallel Earth, they realized that was pretty puny compared to the more than $8 billion their country was spending in Iraq each month.)

Doing the math, the cost to the 180 million folks against the war was a total of $280 million if all 140,000 soldiers decided return home. Of course, not all would want to leave, because just as here, in our parallel Universe, military in U.S. forces serve voluntarily. Those who preferred to stay and spread democracy to Iraqis were gladly permitted to do so. However, a number of reluctant-to-leave soldiers found that with the their abandonment by many of their fellow GI's, it was easier to put down their weapons and join their comrades and just come home.

By estimates I received in my dream, to date all but about 20,000 soldiers have decided to accept the offer of a free ride home. Keep in mind, however, each month this number is still shrinking. So, 20,000 still remain in Iraq in that world--at this point. Total cost to the anti-war Americans so far? 120,000 soldiers returned @ $2,000 each = $240 million divided by the 180 million Americans supporting this plan = $1.56 total for each and every American anti-war man, woman and child over the past 15 months!

What I found incredibly ingenious was how those folks decided to pay for this extraction of troops tired of Bush's, Cheney's, Rumsfeld's and Rice's bullshit war. Each month, depending on how many soldiers took them up on their offer, there was a surcharge added to the electric bill of each anti-war advocate. For example, in the first month of the program when almost 60,000 American soldiers accepted the offer, electric bills went up by approximately a dollar or two per household supporting this program.

I was about to learn of other things done over in our sister Earth alternate universe, but sadly I awoke before that. However, as I was being raised to consciousness, I did learn that 'over there' while their electric bills for anti-war supporters went up by as much as $1.67 cents their highest month, those who still supported the war and were against withdrawal of American troops did NOT have to pay any additional on their monthly utility bills.

Unfortunately, however, the tax burdens of those poor war mongering bastards increased dramatically. That's because their continued aggressions born out of their Bush instilled fears of terrorism increased sharply because those paying for our troops to come home with higher electric bills, were no longer paying for Bush's war with their taxes. And the savings there--as you can easily imagine--were humongous.

Unfortunately, I awoke before seeing all the things they did for their nation with the money they saved. One can only imagine. I wonder if the anti-war folks allow the pro-war people to drive on their new interstate highways? Or let pro-war kids go to their anti-war kid's schools? And do the pro-war folks with no health insurance get to use those anti-war advocate's new hospitals?

Sometimes I wish I lived in a parallel Universe.