Saturday, July 22, 2006

"Happy Birthday, Dave!"

It had been a miserable date. A football game with a petite blonde from South Carolina I hardly knew. I think somewhere in the sixth or seventh minute of our evening together we both sensed it was going to be a long night. Whatever possessed me, I wondered? Thankfully, in the four hours we were together, there was a football game in the middle of the date. I couldn't wait to escort my southern belle back to the dorm so she could get on with the rest of her life. I'm sure she felt the same for me.

As we said "Good night!" and I watched her vanish up the stairs, I caught--from the corner of my eye--someone sitting there in the dorm lobby. Astonishingly, she was alone. I'll never forget my first impression of her. Sitting there with her legs in the chair, crossed, in a pair of cut off blue jeans was the most beautiful girl. She had just witnessed the hurried end of my cold and impersonal date.

The desire to get the hell away from that dorm as fast as possible suddenly left me. I lingered instead, and in a matter of moments my night of disaster became a night to remember. Me and my new friend, "Carol," went on that fall semester to become known as "the campus couple" by many in dormland. Carol became my first love, but sadly I didn't realize it until Christmas break. The incredible misery I felt being home with friends and family and separated from her was utter, utter torment.

And if I realized how very much in love I was, it was really driven home when excitedly returning to school, I learned that, for Carol, it was over for me. That's when I really got how much I loved this girl.

But if my ensuing misery wasn't bad enough, I learned that Carol was now dating my very best friend! And if that first image of Carol is etched in my head, so is the image of the moment a lifetime friendship was sealed when I went down to my friend's room to confront and "congratulate" him on his new girlfriend, my new ex-girlfriend.

Inside his room, I told Dave that I'd just lost my girl. I noticed Dave's hands roll up into fists. I proceeded, "But I sure as hell don't want to lose my best friend too!" David's fists relaxed.

And that was the beginning of what has turned out to be a lifelong friendship. For I left school the end of that semester. Dave did too, but he continued with Carol, until the distance that separated them spatially, eventually separated them emotionally several months later.

Dave and I lost touch. I did my stint in the army, married, and returned to California. It was on a whim one day that my wife and I went in search of David. Armed only with his old home town as any lead, we drove there, checked phone books and gave up. It had been a nice drive. A nice day.

As we pulled in for gas for our return trip, a sudden impulse found me asking the station attendent if he'd ever heard of my old college chum. "Sure," he said. "He gets his gas here all the time." Apparently, David, lived another hour or so away out on the coast. Our trip was not yet over.

And so it was, we found David. And more remarkable was the fact David ended up living in the apartment above ours overlooking the San Francisco Bay a year or so later. And to seal our bond, we shared one most significant emotion: We both still loved Carol.

Now, many, many years later, we are reuniting with David today. At a big birthday party he's throwing for himself. It's his 60th. This landmark birthday was really last November, but Oregon in November is no time to throw a big outdoor birthday bash. So, David unwittingly picked a better time to celebrate his birthday with all his friends. He chose Saturday, July 22nd as the day he would revel.

Almost 2,000 miles apart, he sent an invitation. And we accepted. After all these years, our common love for a young surfer girl, and experiences shared as old neighbors as well as college flunkouts, how could we not accept?

Besides, the day David arbitrarily picked to celebrate his birthday just happens to be my birthday!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

beautiful, touching story. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Dada AND Dave! I wonder if Carol realizes today what a pair of rare gems she left in the wake of her surfboard? D.K.

Anonymous said...

happy birthday dada!

you missed sharing HST's birthday (and perhaps his personality) by four days, but you do share a birthday with Alexander the Great, Gregor Mendel, Oscar De La Renta, Alexander Calder (sculptor), Edward Hopper (realist painter), Stephen Vincent Benet, Rose Kennedy, Carl Menninger (psychiatrist, clinic founder), Tom Robbins (Even Cowgirls Get The Blues), Philip I (king of Spain), Danny Glover, Willem Dafoe, Paul Schrader (screenwriter, Taxi Driver), Charles Weidman (choreographer), Jason Robards, Terence Stamp (British actor), Bob Dole, Al DiMeola (jazz-fusion guitarist), Bryan Forbes (British actor, director of Stepford Wives) and Alex Trebek...

July 22nd is titled The Day of Occupational Fluctuation. You are ruled by the number 4 and the planet Uranus, which is both erratic and explosive. People ruled by the number 4 have their own way of doing and seeing things. Also they generally rebel against rules and regulations, wanting to change the social order. Your Tarot is the 22nd card of the Major Arcana which is The Fool...

There is much more from a most extraordinary book I recently came to own called The Secret Language of Birthdays...to quote from the jacket cover, "the personality profiles are based on a combination of astrology, numerology, the tarot and Gary Goldschneider's many years of observation of more than 14,000 people including contemporary and historical figures. Goldschneider's theory of "personology" proposes that all of life is cyclical: people born on the same day occupy the same point in the year's cycle and thus share certain characteristics"

Not that I believe in any of that shit above by itself, but my birthday entry certainly describes me to a tee and several other of my friends and relatives very well...I would not guess from your writing that you are anything like what the rest of the entry for July 22nd says...

meldonna said...

If I remember my bullshit sixties astrology fables correctly, we are only now entering truly into the Age of Aquarious...

Old friends, sometime rivals, well met. To every season...

This story is just another example of why I've always enjoyed talking to you, Da. You are a person cut from the same cloth as everyone else I admire; when faced with a f****d situation, you always try to err in the way of the best of bad choices, and Do The Right Thing. Even if it hurts.

It's always been a tough road, but as my clock goes on, time has shown the goodwill comes back to you.

Happy belated wishes, mi amigo. And for god's sake, drink lots of water. Who knew the Age of Agua was going to start so WARM?

Quando omni flunkus moritati,

or better yet:

Omnia Extares!

(reference: the first is from the Red Green Show {canada}, Possum Lake Lodge motto, and the second is the Evergreen State College motto, whose mascot is the Geoduck, about the ugliest clam you can imagine. Let's just say the 'gooey duck' appears obscene. Google it in images...)

enigma4ever said...

Happy Birthday Dada....what a beautiful beautiful story ...and what an incredible way to celebrate your birthday and honor a friendship....wow..namaste..
(big hello to Maine Friend, Mel and of course DK..save me some cake...)

Anonymous said...

sorry, mel, you gotta 'splain latin (if it is latin, looks like it, but what do I know) to the impaired. Something like "when we can all cheat death" ?!?

I swear, I was thinking the SAME thought about this age of aquarius, what with global warming & rising seas (I just saw An Inconvenient Truth, can you tell?). But then I always think of water as cooling things down & here I am sweating like a piglet. Oh, but aquarius is only the water-bearer, huh, capricious about where the water gets bestowed.

Happy for dada to have escaped the heat for awhile, though. This must be a good week for birthdays. My husband, his best friend & my god-child niece (and now we find out dada & his good friend) all passing that date on the calendar about now.

haha maineiac, my hub is also a 4 & I always translate that for him as "square" (8 being double square). I'm a 2 or a 6, depending on if you spell it all out (in english) or just use numbers. you gotta number, mon frere?

Enigma, I have some chocolate angel-food cake left, chocolate mousse frosting, toasted almonds on top with your name on it. yumm, will that do? D.K.

enigma4ever said...

wowthhawasreallygoodsogood....
that is me talking with my mouth full DK...is there any more for this piglet??? hmmmmmm ;-)

Yeah Mel's got some splaining to do- I couldn't figure out the Latin either- it sounded like something out of the Godfather for a second there...yikes..

Maine Friend- Wow- you are the Birthday King- and of course you know HST....hehe

Dada hope the Birthday has been wonderfull....

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dada!

What a beautiful story and so full of synchronicity!

As Meladonna said, your actions reveal a wonderful character... and it does all come back to you --Very cool gift from your wife too!

-- interesting comments - especially some_M... my mother's birthday is 07/22 too - she turned 71... and the erratic and explosive thing is right on!

Dena

Anonymous said...

hahaha, mel, in the absence of an altavista babel fish translator for Latin and for the benefit of all, the google translations are:

Quando omni flunkus moritati = When all else fails, play dead

omnia extares = let it all hang out

DK, I would be a 7, ruled by Neptune...my fortune says I should guard against losing touch with reality...hmmmm

Dena, none of the entries (including 7/22) are 100% complimentary, so I'll say no more...I'll leave it to Dada or anyone else who's interested to spend the $40 to read their own entry...

enigma, I see you're back on the blogging circuit...big as life and twice as bad...with some new-found multi-media talents?

Dada said...

Hi everybody! I've been pretty much offline the past two days since arriving in Eugene. Have been having a great time with our niece and nephew who have been taking us around, trying to hit as many of Eugene's 'high points' as possible in the short time we were here.

Also, our first time to see our new 8 month old niece. Wow...have to say, honestly, she's as good as any puppy! (And that's saying a LOT!)

Today we're driving up to Portland for a couple of days before we head to the beach on Friday. It's finally beginning to weaken a bit, this oppressive heat we've been in since leaving Mt. Shasta.

But what I really want to say is: THANK YOU--EVERYONE!--FOR THE KIND BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS. I'd hoped to respond to each individually, but being as how we're moving again, time does not permit.

Just know, it was a great party given by my old college chum. He really knows how to entertain large crowds. But also know that as he was 'handing out' tidbits of his history of many of the folks there, I thought it only fair I stand up and give them "the other side" of the story...all in great fun.

Also, have enjoyed some of the 'birthday banter' in this thread...like Maineiac's list of fellow 7/22ers, Mel's bullshit Sixties astrology, great "latin" words of wisdom (and translation by Maineiac). Belated Happy Birthday to your better half DK. And enigma...from the sounds of Maineiac's latest comment, I need to get over to the cafe soon.

So glad to hear THIS is the dawning of Aquarius, because that other one, the faux dawning had me yawning. Maybe now we'll get some clues what this new age is all about?

Dada said...

Whoops....Dena, forgot to thank you also. Thanks for sharing that your mom's birthday is the same day. She must be a very dynamic person! (grin)

Your birthday wish gave this year's BD a truly international flavor!

Anonymous said...

Some_M

I've seen the book -- didn't buy it -- just read all the birthday's I could think of while standing in the aisle for about half an hour at Chapters... of course there has to be good and bad in everyone!

I like to look at astrological charts myself -- my brother has Uranus conjunct the ascendent -- and I feel he inherited his unique take on the world from my mother...

Dena