Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Always wear protection

...everywhere the leaves were soured, the moss and ground cover ferns browned. The rains, poisoned by gases from the great volcanic convulsion to the west, had been hard on plants and animals alike. It wasn't a healthy time.
~ from Stephen Baxter's "Evolution"
I've been taking some time away from blogging this past month; to step back from the global "lunatic bin" hell bent on its own self-destruction. So today I thought I would focus on small things we might do to best protect ourselves here in the face of the increasing chaos.

Dada -- preparing to safely mow his lawn in the 21st
Century utilizing the small things we might do to best
protect ourselves here in the face of the increasing chaos.

By that I'm not referring to safety from terrorism which nations such as ours are so hell bent on promoting through their "Catch-22" policies to 'keep us safe' from it by nurturing it globally, thereby insuring an endless state of wars for us all. ("Oh God, I'm sooo scared shitless!!)

No, instead, by insuring we, as individuals, take the little precautions to protect ourselves against unhealthy personal and global-influencing practices that might insure the probability more of us will be around to witness the end of civilization as we knew it -- forever!

What follows are a few suggestions to those of us still trying to maintain a semblance of the past; of lush, grass-filled, yards as backdrops for weekend bar-be-ques with family and/or valued friends.

To those still fighting progress by maintaining yards, a few safety tips:

Dada, just before mowing his lawn Saturday,
6-5-2010, on a 102 degree afternoon.

Protective measures:
  1. Knowing someone who has had the tops of both ears and part of his nose removed because of skin cancers, a cap/hat is extremely important! (the thinner one's top layer is, i.e., hair, the more important this becomes)
  2. Neck and ear protection: borrow a cheap Dollar Store scarf made in Bangladesh from your wife -- she'll never miss it, but your ears and neck will forever thank you!
  3. Goggles -- to protect your eyes from flying debris (thrown from a new 289 HP mower like mine!)
  4. Sunglasses to protect from solar radiation and coronal mass ejections.
  5. Nose protection - a Kleenex (or in the case of the illustration above, toilet paper), provide an SPF of 15 (doubled, SPF 23 -- don't ask me, I don't know why only 23), after all, you don't want to end up looking like Joan Rivers, do you?
  6. Clothing -- always optional, but best worn to protect against the sun and neighbors that might report you to local police.
Prevent global warming!

One final note: If you still long for mid-20th Century, post WWII, Japanese gardener maintained lawns and gardens ala 1950's Los Angeles, please, "PLEASE!", take care to do so with the awareness of the increasing global levels of carbon monoxide emissions! Thanks, and may you all live to see "The End!" I hope to be there with you!

Possible additional protection -- a gas mask!


D.K. Raed said...

OK so from the neck up you are all hazmatted up as if you are ready to ride the mower over toward the gulf and begin de-oiling operations ... but then you forgot about your legs and arms! Don't extremeties warrant any extreme protection from little rocks and small dinosaur bones thrown up by the mower, not to mention sun damage could eat away a knee just as easily as an ear or nose?! HAAH!

(hey hope you're having "fun" with Evolution -- selecting the most understated quote, "it wasn't a healthy time", encapsulates the human rein so perfectly)

Dada said...

D.K. - You make a good point. But the thought of wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants was like so waaay-out-of-the-question! (after all, it WAS "405 degrees" outside -- that's what it sounded like on the video these clips were taken from).

Which BTW, I'm proud to say is being uploaded to Facebook (as a 1min, 30sec video) as a grand experiment. (I don't think this is quite the way George Lucas started out, but it's a beginning). I've got to stop using my hands so much to talk in it though.

I'll send you a copy and anyone else who sees this (friends only, sorry) and would like to witness amateur video in its rawest form.

BTW, I want you to know it takes a talent to over prime a lawn mower but not flood it so that it still starts (with mucho smoko -- last scene -- I was very lucky with that one).

As for Evolution, I have millions and millions of years of ever changing characters to progress to and am debating if I might not just skip ahead to 'the future'? We'll see.

D.K. Raed said...

It's been awhile (18-yrs!) since we mowed any lawn, so I had completely forgotten about the smoking fuming aspect. I respect your ability and tenacity with the oil to gas ratio.

It may seem oxymoronic, but even at 405-degrees, you'd be cooler with loose-fit light-cotton long-sleeve & long-pants. I've never seen a latino gardener in shorts/tshirt and they do that kind of work for a living. And of course there is the whole arab world showing us that light long flowing robes fight the desert heat better by keeping the sun off your skin. Still, I guess the weekend lawn warrior deals with it in a cool tshirt with enigmatic symbols that vaguely remind one of atomic power.

Re: Evolution ... of course you can always skip ahead but you'll be missing the steps that made us and all living things what we are ... better to read enough of chapter to get the drift, if you must. But whatever you do, do not skip Capo!