Labor's Last Day

PORTLAND, OR, Sept. 5, 2011 UP (Unassociated Press:)

Oregon, first state in the nation to honor labor with its

very own day of recognition in 1887, was ironically the

home of the last (and still unemployed) member of a

disbanded union, Andrew Carter, to observe the former-

ly recognized national Labor Day holiday on Monday.

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LABOR DAY

"In the early twenty-first century, Labor Day parades, rallies, festivals, and speeches were still organized by labor unions across the country"....but.... "because of the shrinking popular base of traditional labor unions, however, most Americans tended to regard the day merely as the finale of a long summer of fun in which hot dogs, barbecues, and picnics reigned." (Labor Day from Answers.com)

On Friday , February 12, 2010, a congressional bill authorizing an additional $.995 trillion bailout funds for corporate America had a page inserted into it by an unnamed senator late, late that evening. The bill, as with most bills its size, went unread by representatives before its near unanimous passage the following Monday. The rider, to all who have since had the chance to read the bill, has become known as "page 1137." It declared the former holdiay known as Labor Day was to be immediately revoked.

The provision, long sought by Business, was deemed necessary to increase American productivity if the nation was to effectively compete with global labor markets. Said an anonymous executive from the last American auto company still manufacturing cars, ....

"Rather than our work force taking a holiday, we realized an immediate way to increase labor's productivity -- by having them work for their pay the first Monday of every September instead of paying them to just take a day off and woof weenies, burgers and beer."

"Labor Day was set up to honor America's workforce one day of each year with a holiday as appreciation for all their hard work the rest of the year. But in the context of the global labor market now enjoyed in the 21st Century, that concept is obsolete," he continued. "We lobbied long, hard and contributed much to get this law passed. It's a victory for all Americans!"

"We must continue to seek ways to further increase the American laborer's productiveness, with ideas like this and doing more with fewer workers working longer hours. You know, those still with jobs doing the labor formerly done by 3 or 4 of their now deposed unemployed co-workers," he continued.

"It's the only hope for this country if America wants to stay strong with a labor force able to compete with the likes of wages being paid to Third World workers; like China's forced *free labor* prison populations."

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HAPPY LABOR DAY AMERICA! LET'S HOPE IT'S NOT OUR LAST!
(dedicated to the memory of our late visionary president, Ronald Wilson Reagan, who saw the future now being enjoyed by us all.)