Saturday, June 06, 2009

El Paso cited for deception!

In a parallel Universe just one over from our own?....

(Illustration by Dada)

"Hell, everyone in Arizona knows Yuma is the sunniest place in the nation," said Matthew Madden, upset resident of Phoenix (which holds the title of the country's "most uncomfortable city" according to The National Climatic Data Center).

When asked of El Paso's nickname as "The Sun City," Yuma resident Teresa Mondragon said angrily, "El Paso's claim to that moniker is totally ridiculous."

Actually, Mondragon may have a point. A recent study by the Department of the Energy shows El Paso has done nothing to earn or maintain its claim from the plentiful sunshine that heaps tons of free solar energy upon that city nearly 200 days of every year.

Learning its nickname as "The Sun City" has been labeled by the Department of Interior as one of the grossest examples of misleading names in the nation, El Paso has been told its claim to that title is being revoked July 22nd.

"The fourth sunniest city in the nation simply calling itself The Sun City, naming its annual post season collegiate football game 'The (Brut) Sun Bowl' and its local public transit bus service, 'Sun Metro' is not enough to warrant its continued use of the name," one official said. "There is little evidence to demonstrate El Paso has done anything more to validate its claim."

One city representative, speaking on condition of anonymity said, "Honestly, the nickname is a sham. El Paso has no interest in pursuing its future in the sun!"

"'The Sun City' should go to some other community more deserving" she went on to say, adding, "someplace like tiny Taos, NM where their local radio station, KTAO, generates a staggering 100,000 watts of purely green electricity from its solar panels, enabling it to boast its broadcast area as the largest of any solar-powered station in the country. Taos also hosts an annual solar powered music event known as the Taos Solar Music Festival. Someplace like that, or some other city actually working with the sun to affect a more positive future will be able to rightfully stake its claim as the real Sun City once El Paso's title is revoked."

While El Paso prides itself in one of its biggest industries, Ft. Bliss, which is undergoing huge expansion with the addition of the U.S. Army's 1st Armored Division, one local resident was quick to say, "Rather than laze around under the nickname 'Sun City' that El Paso has done nothing to nurture, the sooner we surrender that title to someplace else really promoting the sun and its endless supply of free/cheap energy, the quicker we can adopt an appropriate nickname more accurately reflecting what El Paso as border city is all about."

"Maybe something like 'Tank Town,' he suggested.

(Dada had difficulty deciding whether the protrusion on the right side of the speaker's face was some kind of oral growth or just his cheek housing his tongue.)


Anonymous said...

This is a bunch of hooey! Since when is using the nickname "The Sun City" dependent on developing, promoting, or doing anything else with solar energy requisite for using the name?

~former Sun City resident

Dada said...

Welcome Anonymous: Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Wherever you've relocated, I hope it's as nice as El Paso.

You make a good point. So when is a nickname dependent on actually living up to it? Apparently seldom. But remember, I premised this as occurring in the next parallel Universe over from our own where, unlike this one, nicknames and labels are taken more seriously.

Hence, the USA -- over here -- is not known as leader of the *Free* World, just as your president Obama is not labeled a liberal .

Nona said...

Good points regarding the use of labels! Huntington Beach sued Santa Cruz for calling itself "Surf City" and Huntington Beach won the lawsuit. As a result, Santa Cruz can no longer call itself "Surf City".

Surfing Magazine has just named Santa Cruz the number one surfing location and Huntington Beach isn't even in the top 10, but still only Huntington Beach can claim the name "Surf City".

Politics works the same way. Reagan had the "Shining City on a Hill" while he dismantled social programs so that the "Shining City" became a home for wealthy capitalists, but who cares - it was a label that made us feel good and that's what really matters. (snark)

Fran said...

Hrumph! Was that Shining city lit up by a Thousand Points of light???

I had just posted a response... with our water rate hike- we get an average 40 inches of rain per year & you sunny El Pasoans get 8 inches.... you seem like an arid desert Mecca zone.

So it is all in perspective.

Tank City seems too harsh, and really do;t suggest it to the City counsel-- they might just think it;s a great idea. Pttttttt.