Tuesday, April 07, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: American Debtors To Be Shipped to China as Indentured Servants!

The following I found side-splitting funny. Of course, it'd be more so (and less infuriating, really), if it described what part the people who brought about this entire mess will serve in rectification of our gross over-indulgence besides sending most all of us to China or France. (Dada suspects we've been spared that part because it's far too gruesome and French-like for tender American sensitivities and insouciance - which by the way is ebbing -- "Thank God!") If you can overlook that, I hope you can enjoy.....

NOTICE:

The federal government announced today that all Americans in foreclosure, past due on credit card debt or in bankruptcy, will be shipped to Beijing to work off America's debt to the Chinese.

China accepted a hard driven bargain by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton today which allows for every American to help pay off our national debt to China by working for two dollars a day as a domestic servant, in rice paddies or coal mines.

Since 98% of the the American national debt is caused by heterosexuals, only heterosexuals will be shipped to China. Gays and lesbians will be sent to the Paris sweatshops of Yves St. Laurent, Karl Lagerfeld and Givenchy, to help pay back what we owe to the French.

Banks and credit card companies will use their bailout money to pay to ship American debtors to China. According to Citibank executives, who asked not to be identified, "it's important that America show the world we always pay back our debts."

Bankrupt American Debtors (B.A.D.) claim they should be paid at least the federal minimum wage but experts on Wall Street said that would only serve to hurt small businesses in China and stunt economic growth worldwide.

Gays and lesbians working Paris sweatshops, however, will be paid French minimum wage, given free healthcare, expense accounts and quaint but fashionable apartments on the Rive Gauche. Experts on Wall Street claim this is the sort of practice that has destroyed France's economy.

French politicians' response was simply, "we will not be sending any French people to work in China."


NOTE: The preceding story courtesy of: Leviticus International, a wonderfully relevant, irreverent and pro gay rights website!

2 comments:

Border Explorer said...

Oh, Dada, this is so good!

I know it won't happen, but it opens the door in my mind that asks me, "What if I had been born in China...or Mexico...or wherever and worked all day just to scrape by for another day? And why was it they and not me? And what if the tables turned?"

Scary stuff to think about.

A Ball of Light said...

as iam one of the slow ones, does this mean we will get brand new teeth???

damn credit card is around here somewhere...

OT: i finally joined the ranks of you real bloggers...