Wednesday, January 23, 2008

More news from the parallel universe just two over from our own, or "Margaritas ante porcos"

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

Ignoring wisdom of the ages, Fed Chairman Bernanke and his U.S. Federal Reserve cast pearls at the feet of its American swine Tuesday by slashing its benchmark interest rate a whopping .75%. But such a dramatic move was not seen as a gift by the swine who opted instead to interpret the Fed's action as indication their economy is far, far sicker than they even knew.

Meanwhile in the catacombs somewhere deep beneath the Pentagon, vice president Cheney, disappointed at American's acceptance of the calcareous concretion tossed them, was heard to quip, "Look's like we may have to grease this pig!"

Some close to the vice president took this as a reference to Tuesday's news NATO has agreed to pre-emptive nuclear attacks on nations to halt the "imminent" spread of nuclear and other weapons of mass destruction and the thought, if tidbits tossed American swine to save their crashing economy go unswallowed, Cheney may have to resort to putting lipstick on his pig (and nukes on Tehran).


Cartledge said...

"just two over..." Funny thing about parallel universes, they tend to be in different places for some of us. I went two over and found some actor, suddenly deceased, is the most important news on earth.
Never mind the massive economic disasters we face, in the place I got stuck in :(

dada said...

Oh Christ, Cart....tell me Cate Blanchett is still alive! (Let me go check earth's most important news.)

Seriously, a guess might be you're referring to Heath Ledger and his tragic departure from this Earthly plane. Quite a shock alright.

Cartledge said...

Bugger, I just found an instrument malfunction! I was actually stuck in this universe all the time...
I was really hoping this incredible event was occurring elsewhere, that our existence might be more interested in reality.

D.K. Raed said...

no, nooooo, not nukes. is there no one who will rid us of this truculent prig (paraphrased from Henry II re: Beckett, as played by Big Dick C in today's performance)???

Re: your Matthew quote ... you notice what bad treatment dogs get in the bible? If they are mentioned at all, it is usually as "pariah dogs". Dog-lovers should be shunning Huckabee's wanting to go all biblical on us. Swine-lovers, too. The only thing these fundies think animals are for is eating & sacrificing.

Cart & Dada, I'm glad you are in THIS universe & only catching glimpses of the parallel universe. I have a feeling it only looks better over there, kind of like through a glass darkly.

dada said...

Oooh boy. I just read a quote by Lily Tomlin which, paraphrasing, goes something like:

"Man invented language out of his deep need to bitch."

Seems that's what I do most of all here. But as far as reality and our lack of attention to it goes, do you get the feeling the longer we disregard it, the more painful it will be when it finally leaps up and bites us on the arse?

And speaking of dogs (I wasn't, I wasn't D.K. - I swear!)...yes, they get a very bum (no pun intended) wrap in Matthew, don't they? That upsets me mucho, because most of my very best friends have been of the canine variety so that's shameful for, if we humans have souls, I sure as hell believe dogs have souls. Fact being, ours is likely a poor imitation of most animal's souls, esp. dogs - if there are such things.

D.K. Raed said...

Dada, there is a high art to bitching, especially the way you practice the craft!

There is some day in L.A. every year when some Catholic bishop or cardinal or whatever chess piece they call themselves performs what is called The Annual Blessing of the Animals. It's an outdoor event, somewhere downtown. It's a mob scene of the faithful bringing their beloved pets for this totally tricked-out high muckity-muck to fling a wand of holy water toward the pets in some mass blessing. But the KEY is, it confirms the Catholic Church's belief that animals DO have souls. So there you go!

Cartledge said...

You know I always agree with d.k. – except perhaps when it comes to tennis. I found it odd that the church might choose to bless creatures it has claimed lack a soul, excepting perhaps those chess piece people.
But I went back to my ancient Greek translation of Matthew and the word used can equally be translated as man without a beard. I thought that reading – do not give things that are holy to men without beards – made much more sense.

D.K. Raed said...

HAHAHAHAW! So, Cartledge, are you and Dada going to be shaving now?

Cartledge said...

d.k. You know that great and sagacious teacher, Cecil B. DeMille, showed us that all worthy men had beards. I might only come up to Jeremiah’s notional knee cap; but Dada, there you have a veritable Moses. I’m not sure what he has in his tablets, but the result is impressive.

dada said...

Oh, d.k. - Cart, you guys are cracking me up here. Thanks cartledge for convincing me NOT to shave, but I fear - as to the high praise - much like the the reminder on every bottle of my favorite ale (Arrogant Bastard no less), "You Are Not Worthy." (Hence, the appeal perhaps?)

But for a moment or two there, you had me feeling better (before crashing back down upon reality).

(Now where the hell did I leave my tablets?)