Saturday, January 26, 2008

CAUTION: To stay safe on the twenty-eighth, don't buy a fifth on the twenty-seventh!

(The Absinthe Drinker by Edgar Degas: On the verge of her
demise from an overdose of George W. Bush hyperboles?)


One of my earliest (and most regretted) posts on this blog occurred in June '05 with the suggestion to make a drinking game out of an upcoming president Bush address to the nation. As rare as those were, Bush felt it necessary to go on prime time TV and relate to us, the little people, the progress the U.S. was making in Iraq.

It was never my intention to hurt anybody. I never meant for anyone to drink themselves silly or into eternal oblivion. But a little perspective on how this could have happened might be helpful.

By the summer of '05 we had been mired in Iraq for over two years in what was supposed to have been a cakewalk. American's were sick of the same tired Bush rhetoric. Unable to punish the perpetrators of 9/11 in Iraq because we couldn't find any, or their nonexistent WMD's, Bush's mission had evolved. We were now Iraq's benefactors, heaping huge doses of "freedom" and "democracy" upon the Iraqis (whether they wanted it or not).

Astute observers by then were already convinced the nation was the subject of a dangerous Nazi Propaganda Minister Goebbels-esque mind experiment to see if Americans, told a big lie over and over enough times, would wolf it down sans even a small burp.

We were in a new and interesting period. Just as we had been watching the state of Israel evolve into the very Nazis who had exterminated 6 million of their own, America was now becoming the same oppressive state it had fought so hard to depose in World War II.

With such a sobering reality, I decided to promote the drinking game idea. To make more palatable Bush's playing loose with his hackneyed use of Iraqis new found "freedom" and "democracy." I thought chugging a gulp of one's favorite spirit each time we heard either of those words might make it easier to swallow the bullshit for those masochists determined to watch.

But the news in the paper a day or two later left me shaken. A local woman had been found face down in a ditch, barely breathing. "Rushed to a hospital, her condition is currently unknown," the paper said. Could I have contributed to this woman's demise? Had she played the Bush drinking game?

I had never expected that in the brief span of Bush's 23 minute speech he would mention "democracy" 15 times, "freedom" 35 times (!) -- more than enough to kill the country's heaviest drinkers several times over.

I don't know if that woman found in a ditch played the Bush drinking game. Nor do I know if she recovered. But it was a somber thought I might have shared some responsibility for her demise.

All of this flashback was triggered with Bush's impending last (hopefully) State of the Union speech to the nation this coming Monday. An e-mail I received Thursday morning revived the idea a drinking game based on words you chose to watch for in his speech beforehand. I would only suggest caution if deciding to play this potentially dangerous game, i.e., it might be wise to lock the liquor cabinet beforehand and bury the key in the middle of a pile of Fido's canned dog food (where, once devoured, it will be unaccessible until at least tomorrow).

While I'm all for a little fun through responsible alcohol consumption, the George W. Bush Speech Drinking Game is just a joke, much like his State of the Union addresses (save for their deadly consequences, of course). Knowing the president's actions have killed way, way too many people, please take care not to join those lost souls Monday evening by becoming a victim of his words!



D.K. Raed said...

So what words are we looking for this time? "stimulus", "hopeful", "progress", "rebates", "security", "premature pull-out", and of course the old stand-by of "freedom". Maybe a brief red herring about going to mars, or immigration, or uh-oh, privitizing social security & rebuilding the military (just to scare the rest of the crap outta us). Do you think he'll mention the price of Oil dropped down to $87ppb (coinciding with his visit to the saudis)?

I'm lucky I'll be missing his spew, umm, speech, since I don't want to wreck my vacation.

Hey, doesn't it seem odd that you were more concerned about the poor women in the gutter than Bush has ever been about anyone who has suffered under his rule?

Absinthe? Real Absinthe? Get those sugar cubes out & better have a licensed opium-den mother to guide you through the other side! unless ... you don't want to come through the other side? aaack!

Cartledge said...

I thought your esteemed leader would be the ideal inspiration for the drinking game, if inspiration were needed.
A man who can't get his own bottle lids off would be given a sainthood here. Bush's imbibing would ensure incumbencies three to oblivion.
Getting up in the morning seems enough to inspire a drinking game here, but our recent leaders seem a bit shy about imbibing habits these days. At least they are equally shy about public addresses.
As Churchill famously said when invited to give his address - "10 Downing Street".

Fran said...

Funny you should post this-- please post the list of buzzwords you got in the e mail... I am trying to put together a comprehensive list- for a kind of *Bullshit Buzzword Bingo* game.

I just finished posting the things we will likely *NOT* hear about on my blog- an almost equally predictable list.

No one takes bush seriously, but I feel compelled to hear the speech just for the outrageous factor. Our family always provides rousing commentary while watching. The sarcasm is rich & generous. I may even be able to credit Bush for helping us sharpen our quick wit. At times we can't hear him, because we are laughing too hard- either at our own comments, or his words.

A drinking game could indeed be deadly, as is Bush's regime itself.

enigma4ever said...

Hey there...I will be liveblogging it...( it should be called dead blogging it....)anways...great post....I will be doing my Mylanta lemon creme shooters as always...

But we should make a drinking game..patent it..sell it and make lots of money....

( except it would be like Roves book and no one would buy it...)