My afternoon with AJ

Yesterday, I spent three hours on the phone/computer with "Tech Support" merely trying to retrieve an e-mail program suffering from inaccessibility since I "successfully" networked our home computers last week. It's one of those problems more annoying than anything major.

Thankfully my tech attendant, "AJ" -- somewhere on the other side of the Earth which just coincidentally is likely in the area for which the India Pale Ale I was drinking was named -- was most pleasant. I concluded AJ must be scripted for just such occasions when support dictates spending more time with a customer than most parents spend with their kids each day.

He asked, "How was your weekend?" I explained, being a three day weekend, it was great.

"It was a banking holiday, right?" AJ asserted, noting why it was special.

"Yes, exactly," I confirmed. "We have 10 of them every year. My favorite one being the last Banking Holiday of the year where family gets together and exchanges presents in our gratitude to banks and other industry's for giving us these holidays."

As I gave control of my computer cursor over to AJ somewhere in Asia, I yelled to Mrs. Dada in the next room to come see. "Look." Holding both arms above my head, "NO HANDS!" I excitedly proclaimed as the cursor moved miraculously about our desktop without me.

"How is your weather?" AJ wanted to know. I learned it was about as hot "there" as it was here and the "AC" in AJ's apartment was not working.

"Do you like cars?" he asked. "What kind?"

We both agreed we liked cars and I imagined AJ is looking forward to owning one some day when they eventually build roads for him to drive on. (Of course, they will have to ban the oxen from them.)

After three hours or so AJ returned control of my computer to me, sadly conceding he had failed. Had my problem been worse I'm sure I wouldn't have felt the tinge of satisfaction I experienced just then. That even technology gods fail sometimes!

AJ's recommendation? Try a different e-mail program, OR buy a new computer! I thanked him for his time and he for mine. I encouraged him--when he got off work--to go drink an India Pale Ale.

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My experience with AJ highlighted my evening reflections of man's spreading condition towards increasingly more dismal levels of complexity.

From tech support that collapsed, I listened to other stories on the news, like

• U.S. violent crime is up. Reason? Gangs! But what can you expect from a nation that exports organized gangs to indiscriminately shoot up and destroy other countries?
• The spread of super bugs in the U.S. that are extremely resistant to any known treatment. Reason? Overcrowding of people in inner cities and prisons that promote their spread.
• Or take the TB infected man on a NO FLY list who flew at will endangering others, illustrating how successfully our Homeland Security fails us.
• The more and more contaminated foods not just unfit for cat and dog consumption, but being eaten by people too, illustrating how well our Agriculture and Food and Drug departments with their drastically slashed budgets protect us.
• Russia's new ICBM's incapable of being stopped by the U.S. anti-missile's boondoggle gift to defense contractor's program. It's just a response to the new arms race being triggered by aggressive U.S. policies.

And on and on. Throw in globalization, global warming, the Bush administration, our congress men and women and who should be surprised that even Tech Support is collapsing.

But one has to love the irony. For as I sat watching AJ control my computer from the other side of the Earth, he listened as I told him I was drinking one of his India Pale Ales.

This morning I took one of AJ's recommendations. I bought a new computer. It'll ship in a couple of weeks. As soon as they assemble all the parts from Japan, Taiwan, etc. Hopefully, they'll all work together and that will stave off my future need of tech support for awhile.

But why am I not too optimistic that in setting up the new system when it arrives, I won't need to visit with AJ again very soon?