Taking a chuckle break.

This was forwarded to me by someone in a university town in the Pacific Northwest. It's an interesting area because, much like Iraq that is being contaminated with depleted uranium that will manifest deleterious effects for years to come, Eugene, home of the University of Oregon, has been heavily contaminated some years ago. Not with depleted uranium, but with an infectious free spirit still being carried by some with recessive genes.

Obviously, the "flower power" isotope has a much longer half-life in Eugene than most places. One can regularly spot folks suffering from over-exposure to it. And, honestly, that's one of the reasons I'm looking so forward to visiting there in the next week or so. That, and there's a host of fantastic microbreweries in the area and great family to experience them with.

Here then is the list I just received. God, anything that gives us a chuckle is so welcome these days. Even if it is true.

I don't know if this has been circulating on the web very long, but if you read it before I apologize, but do yourself a favor. Read it again, for the first time. (WTF?)

What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money. (Dada says: Just ask Vladimir!)

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. (Dada note: And don't forget those insidious flag burners!)

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.