Friday, March 03, 2006

Why I can't blog tonight... the wife and I were eating dinner this evening, we stopped, looked, and listened to the TV as though a requisite to eating, much like a plate, fork or salt shaker . But hey, this is the 21st Century, devoid of conversation and other social intercourse. (I know, it's risky using that particular phraseology with many of my readers, I might have lost a few there--just kidding!)

Never mind that I had noticed a few minutes earlier, glancing over at my wife during the evening news, or MSNBC's "Countdown", that my wife's head was reflecting the very same motions as my own. A mirror couldn't have echoed it better. Ours were both moving back and forth in unison, in disbelief at what we were hearing. No wonder there's an inordinate number of neck problems with Americans today. We're all suffering from the same varying degrees of total disbelief.

The particular program "entertaining" us for dinner was "Larry King". He was interviewing Paul McCartney and his wife trying to halt the upcoming slaughter of baby seals in Canada. (It's that time of year again.) After horrendous videos of the clubbing to death of these beautiful creatures just weeks old, Larry King asked his guests something like, "So, what percentage of the gross and violent deaths of baby seals are you hoping to prevent?"

Jesusholyshityoudumbassedbastard, what kinda question was that? My wife and I exchanged dumbfounded looks. Maybe you can guess McCartney's astonished response. "All of 'em!"

I'd heard somewhere a few years back that maybe the best way to stop the clubbing of baby seals is to start clubbing the wearer of clubbed baby seals. "Whoa! That's sounds like a solution!" I'd thought. But this is the 21st Century and, looking around, man has become far too "civilized" for that. Well, I suppose there IS some consolation if you're a baby seal. In order to preserve your beautiful fur coat, no one will will shoot you. Rather than risk messing up that beautiful fur, they'll just tenderize the shit outta your head instead.

Before that, we were watching Keith Olbermann on Bill O'Reilly's radio show. Apparently, a person had called in to O'Reilly and before he could get the gist of his message out, he'd mentioned two words: "Keith Olbermann". Mind you, we heard the tape. There was no indication of where he was going with that, he just mentioned Olbermann's name and O'Reilly severed the connection! Bill O'Reilly was then heard to threaten that caller with "We have your phone number," and he would turn it over to FOX security. I guess under the new Fourth Reich, mega-corps have their own private security goon squads?

Keep in mind, twisted O'Reilly, who is so into defending the integrity of the tenets of a *free America*, threatened to call in his FOX Nazi gestapo dogs all because a caller said the name "Keith Olbermann" on the air. Obviously, O'Reilly's as sick and paranoid as the Bush chickenshithawks he worships.

So these are a few of the reasons I cannot bring myself to blog anything tonight. Because the airwaves are so laden with shit like this.

Example: When is a dog not a dog? When he's your First Sergeant! That's right. Of the 25 security dogs flown into India with the president and pickles Bush, Indians were NOT to refer to them as dogs. They are members of the U.S. Armed Forces. Of all people, Bush is the last I would expect to demand respect for members of the armed forces he, himself, gave a shit less for as an air national guardsman.

Speaking of Bush. Did everyone catch his landing in Pakistan? Of course not because you couldn't see it. Again, so typical of anywhere he goes in that part of the globe he's "liberating", it was under the cover of darkness with all the landing lights of AF1 off and the jet's window shades drawn as they dropped down to an Islamabad runway.

I sometimes wonder if Bush has the wattage of a dim bulb to think about the fact that, as leader and liberator of the free world, he can't go anywhere--even in his own country--without first "editing" his audiences to include only "Rah-rah" dumbshit supporters? Nah, probably not.

But the real, real reason I can't blog anything tonight isn't the fact that congressman Duke Cunningham has lost 90 lbs. over his bribery trial resulting from his total disregard for anything decent, nor the fact--in his heyday--he jokingly had a "bribe menu" describing the rewards you get for X amount of bribe dollars one donates. Nor has it anything to do with the fact he's been sentenced to 7 or 8 years in the pen. No doubt, one with an adjoining golf course. And don't expect him to really be gone 7 years.

Oh, and when he gets out? He'll be entitled to draw his "retirement" from years served in the House. Honest! (NOTE: To those seniors on Social Security--dont' even think of protesting, of getting cited for a felonious crime, because it will cost you your Social Security. Better you serve as a member of your congress for such shenanigans and rewards.)

No, the really upsetting reason why I can't blog tonight has to do with our dear Dick Cheney. See, Americans are saving at the lowest rate they've saved since the Great Depression. And your vice president wants you to know, he says, you MUST SAVE MORE!

See, if we don't save more, we're gonna cause real problems for Medicare and Social Security down the road. Those would be the same Medicare and Social Security he and his puppet, Bush, have been trying to cut the hell outta. So just save more you bananaeatingmonkeybastard citizens.

Never mind that real income of working Americans is shrinking. Never mind the minimum wage hasn't been raised in nearly 10 years, or record numbers of Americans have no health insurance. Look at NWA pilots. They conceded 14-15% of their pay to keep their airline flying a couple of years ago. Now they've just agreed to more cuts in pay (terms not yet disclosed). I'm sure they and millions of other Americans can JUST SAVE MORE, YOU CITIZEN BASTARDS!

Our vice president Cheney is doing his share. With a net worth somewhere between $30-100 million and his last tax return showing income of $1.3 million, he's doing his share. He's saving more (mostly thru his stock dividends and options from Halliburton).

But there's a limit to what he and his administration co-horts can do. After all, There's those tax cuts to his rich cronies your taxes must go to and an expensive war the long-term cost estimates of which range as high as $1-$2 trillion for the next several American generations to work on paying off. That just makes it impossible to burden Uncle Sam with programs that might save your vanishing retirements or blood thirsty medical costs, etc. So it's imperative we little Americans SAVE MORE to help foot the bill.

And that's why I can't blog tonight. Because all the news is totally insane, trying to make all of us crazy and I won't indulge these bastards.


enigma4ever said...

I love that you have really mastered the art of cussing- the holyfuckingmotherfuckingidiots that we have to put up with have earned better names- don't you agree ?Yeah,Personal Savings are at the lowest they have been since the DEPRESSION...well gee, That is encouraging isn't it ?So here is my question when is his godamnedmotherfuckingCondilicking Guidant Pump going to crap out like it was susposed to ? Cause my patience is wearing thin....Well, I guess after Fitz sends him to prison it won't matter will it ? Or that I only have 50 fucking cents to my name....but atleast I can sleep at night knowing that I am not a Halli-Whore....and I guess you two saw that the Duke got 8.4 years for being a total friggin' Crook...
Okay I am done ranting .....for tonight...take care down there....( hmm, I will be putting $4.75 in the ol
'Foul jar...we now send it to NOLA-Edwards & Habitat for Humanity ..decided to put the money to something I actually Cuss at and about 24/7....pretty smart huh?)

Anonymous said...

e4e, "condilicking"? New word award! More later, I just couldn't go to bed without commenting on THAT gem. D.K.

dada said...

e4e: I have absolutely no idea who wrote those words that came from a frothing insane mind. Scribbled in a hurry and posted without so much as editing, I was obviously tired and feverish which manifested in the most incoherent drivel.

But it's a new day and I've regained my composure. I do take some comfort in reading your words which appear to have originated from the same wellspring of outrage last eve.

And what a nice way to fund some worthy projects with your foul jar. (Is that tax deductible?)

some_maineiac said...

this post about the news reminded me of why I rarely watch it...I can't take the incessant fear-mongering that is a daily staple...irrational fears, for the most part, "terrorists are everywhere so we need to spy on everybody", "don't live in the city or next to someone of a different color, you'll get shot, knifed or robbed by a drug-crazed junkie", mixed in with stuff that we really should fear...for instance, the fear that the whole economy is heading for the toilet is a real one for those who have a mortgage or credit card debt and need to hold a job to keep from drowning in the debt...and "saving more" when there's nothing to save to begin with is not gonna do anything for those fears that the average truck-driving, customer service, teacher, works-with-his-hands-or-at-home-depot little guy has...

I rescued a great book from the recycling center a few weeks ago...Michael Moore's "Dude, Where's My Country" and offer this great quote from the chapter I'm reading right now...

"Fear is so basic and yet so easy to manipulate that is has become our best friend and our worst enemey. And when it is used as a weapon against us, it has the ability to destroy much of what we have come to love about life In the United States of America"

Anonymous said...

I'm glad for the insane news if it inspires more of these "non-blogs", dada. That was an almost lethal whiplash neck moment during Countdown last night. O'Reilly's gonna sick the FOX-SECURITY Team on some poor call-in guy? Husband & I had long laugh over THAT absurdity. What pathetic skid-row rent-a-cop firm gets the coveted FOX contract, complete with plastic water-guns? Hope they don't show up at my door, I might just die laughing. I'd be more afraid of Barney Fife.

And the Dukester! A little too close to home, that crook. He "represented" a district near my previous home. Always bragging how he was the original "top gun". Not even a very smart crook either. Did he think no one would notice the firm who bought his house would resell it a few months later at an $800K loss IN ONE OF THE HOTTEST REAL ESTATE MARKETS in the country? A firm who received mucho govt contracts thru his efforts, no less. What a moron. Strap an old F14 pilot wheel to his prison bunk for a pillow.

So you saw Cheney's last tax return, too? Look back at the last few years since he's begrudingly had to make them public. Lynn gets millions in advance of her "book"? Give me a break. I've seen better literature in those old "true romance" teen mags.

And Cheney's solution for our retirement is to save more money? Why, because his gang have raided our sacred social security to finance criminal debt? I've paid my 7.65% FICA/Medicare every year (for the last 21-yrs @ 15.3% since I was self-employed). The easy solution of removing the income cap is one they won't even discuss because it would will affect their friends' obscene precious net income. In fact, the more I think of it, they have provided a massive DISINCENTIVE to save money because I don't think they will take away the social security net for the bottom-lowest-income tier of seniors. Everyone else's is up for grabs. So, DON'T SAVE & you will at least get a small enough stipend to afford dented cans of cat food for your dinner! D.K.

Oh, P.S. you know the great thing about those run-on expletives you & e4e have perfected? The computer can't figure out where to hyphenate them, so it leaves a big white space before the big-bad-word. When my eye sees the blank space, I hold my breath to prepare myself for what's coming. Kind of an extra-oomph for free!

enigma4ever said...

DK_ the WHite Space that you describe is the computer taking a big BIG breath before it spits out the new word of the day....hmmm...

so the word of the Day...
I will have to think on that ....
I will call watch some Fox and get "inspiration"...