Tuesday, March 28, 2006

How to become a republican


1. Be REALLY REALLY REALLY patriotic - wave your flag!!

2. Accept Christ as your own personal weapon - Use the "J" word. Remember, the more you talk about Jesus, the less you need to act like him.

3. Follow the herd - stop thinking so much. (Dada note: While that applies to republicans, it applies to most democrats as well. How else can you explain international war criminals overriding the constitution, rumping international law and acting like a legitimately elected administration and continuing to get away with it?? Because you follow the herd, be you a republican, congressional democrat, member of American mainstream media, me or any other ordinary citizen!)

4. Love to hate - Become a racist, bigot, sexist and xenophobe. The nice thing about being a republican is, you can pick and choose the prejudices just right for you. It's like a fuckin' free meal at Furr's or Luby's cafeteria where you can pig out on anything you friggin' want! Slop it down racists, bigots, sexists and xenophobes! There's no one to stop you! And never forget to wash it down with a good swig of "God bless America!"

5. Fake anger to get your way. Never stop looking for reasons to get upset. When you find one, don't forget to blow it out of proportion. Blame the offender for the decline of society, and if possible, for corrupting the innocence of youth by providing them with sex education and condoms.

Always remember:

~ It's not about being right. It's about winning.
~ If you get stuck, change the subject.
~ Always twist facts and quote out of context.
~ Never, ever, ever admit you're wrong.
~ Label the truth as "spin" and create spin to label "truth".
~ And always, always remember, Jesus loves you and everyone else is going to hell, even if we have to bomb them into it.

Thanks to The Frown, some of which I edited, altered, or added my own.

13 comments:

enigma4ever said...

so in other words learn to drive the podium drunk....

Anonymous said...

And never, NEVER, N-E-V-E-R read a damn thing. Don't attempt to learn, facts just cause your head to hurt. If you accidentally catch a glimpse of something that contradicts your tightly held beliefs, grind it under your jackboot & bury it in quicksand. D.K.

dada said...

e4e....er, maybe instead, all us in the back seat just shut the hell up and let the drunk drive. And if you think about it, with both houses of the congress and the supreme court in the front seat getting their thrills, the MSM stuffed in the trunk--they went to sleep or passed out years ago, the rest of us are doing a pretty good job of keeping our mouths shut--save for a few--getting the wits scared outta us, hoping the drunk doesn't take the whole freakin' nation into a ditch.

dada said...

DK - OK, I have to put a word in for the prez here, since he's unable to defend himself.

In Justin A. Frank's book, "Bush on the Couch", Frank confirms what 90+% of what we layman american psychologists already suspect: Bush is a very disturbed person. "He caint hep it," as Molly Ivins would say.

The diagnosis? Mostly megalomania with its 3 main characteristics: control, contempt and triumph.

That is to say, your description is right-on accurate. But he's been sick for years from events in childhood and his mother, a strick disciplinarian with her own insecurities (plus the handicap of "a beautiful mind")

So the president is one very sick demented person and "he caint hep it!" and the rest of us won't act to help him by removing him from the wheel. I guess we do what we been doing--enabling, and just go along for the ride--its just 44 more months.

If only we could come up with a better idea!

some_maineiac said...

alright, back to the fray...

nice, to-the-point piece, dada, particularly items 4 and 5 and your points to remember...to which i would add...maintain at all costs any status quo which gives you the illusion of being a happy winner and deny the existence of personal growth and change...a static universe is the safest place to be!

expect an increase in traffic from misguided seekers of "the way" to happiness...

some_maineiac said...

the prez is an incompletely reformed drunk, fer crying-out-loud and definitely still a disturbed and dangerous man...while he may have gotten past steps 1, 2 and 3 by finding Geezus, he skipped right over the fearless moral inventory and just went straight to #7 by yelling out "Geezus forgives me!"

dada said...

Amen Maineiac: Frank makes this point in the book. Ever considered psychiatry as a career? Hell, I can think of a couple other mental health "professionals" who frequent here. They're just undocumented, that's all.

(Oh oh, getting into a whole 'nother area there. "Undocumented" wasn't any implication you're felons just because you can diagnose presidential pathologies. It's just that you're 'working in the field' without the proper papers, okay?)

Anonymous said...

dada you say he's demented (I'm not so sure myself, he may just be selfish & stupid by genetics). But if he truly is sick, I would extend the offer of a permanent stay in one of our fine state-run institutions. He could even be joined by all his friends who display the same characteristics. The staff will be like One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest adminstered by Brownie. A big "personal assistant" named Mr. Belafonte. Weekly religious services by Rev Al. Medication limited to govt health plan (!). See? I'm not an enabler. I want to help, really. D.K.

enigma4ever said...

Okay, I have to say this, because I was the one that brought up driving the Podium drunk- but I can't help it- he bellies up to the podium and leans on it and that is what I see. BUT....
I think when it is all, and I mean ALL said and DONE-
I think Dean will be right ( this is what he said at an Impeachment Pane Discussion on CSPAN): " I truly think that when there are Impeachment Hearings for Bush- he will use the IGNORANCE DEFENSE- AND THAT IT ACTUALLY MAY BE ACCURATE"...

hmm, that really says it all don't it ?

( and that has nothing to do with his Jim Beam Addled brain...)

Nina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nina said...

Remember though, whatever Bush says or does was vomited out of the mind of dear ol' dad first. Poor Bush is nothing but a shrub wishing he were a proper bush. It would've been Jeb, but he would've tried to be president. With George, the family didn't have to worry about him trying to run things.

More people mysteriously died and/or dissapeared off the face of the earth under Bush Sr. than under all other presidents combined, so what kind of twisted things does he have planned for us?

Being the former head of the CIA does have its perks, apparently.

dada said...

Hi Nina: Thanks for dropping by the website. Hope you drop by again. BTW, where did you get this wonderful wealth of knowledge you possess? Good stuff.

some_maineiac said...

hahaha, dada, some stuff appears to have finally sunk in through my marble head after many years spent in the offices of various marriage counselors and individual therapists...I would not be very successful in a career change, I would be frustrated by a lack of immediate results and would probably drive most prospective clients away by constantly repeating "the answer lies within" as the panacea for their problems...