Tuesday, March 28, 2006
How to become a republican
1. Be REALLY REALLY REALLY patriotic - wave your flag!!
2. Accept Christ as your own personal weapon - Use the "J" word. Remember, the more you talk about Jesus, the less you need to act like him.
3. Follow the herd - stop thinking so much. (Dada note: While that applies to republicans, it applies to most democrats as well. How else can you explain international war criminals overriding the constitution, rumping international law and acting like a legitimately elected administration and continuing to get away with it?? Because you follow the herd, be you a republican, congressional democrat, member of American mainstream media, me or any other ordinary citizen!)
4. Love to hate - Become a racist, bigot, sexist and xenophobe. The nice thing about being a republican is, you can pick and choose the prejudices just right for you. It's like a fuckin' free meal at Furr's or Luby's cafeteria where you can pig out on anything you friggin' want! Slop it down racists, bigots, sexists and xenophobes! There's no one to stop you! And never forget to wash it down with a good swig of "God bless America!"
5. Fake anger to get your way. Never stop looking for reasons to get upset. When you find one, don't forget to blow it out of proportion. Blame the offender for the decline of society, and if possible, for corrupting the innocence of youth by providing them with sex education and condoms.
~ It's not about being right. It's about winning.
~ If you get stuck, change the subject.
~ Always twist facts and quote out of context.
~ Never, ever, ever admit you're wrong.
~ Label the truth as "spin" and create spin to label "truth".
~ And always, always remember, Jesus loves you and everyone else is going to hell, even if we have to bomb them into it.
Thanks to The Frown, some of which I edited, altered, or added my own.