Oh, Those Dog Days of Summer!

I was reminded once more--like I am every year at this time--how much I appreciate August. The thing that triggered the thought was a story I heard over the weekend about Atkins Nutritionals Inc., that once hot fad diet and thorn in the side of bakeries and pasta manufacturers. Seems they filed for Chapter 11 on Sunday in a New York bankruptcy court.

No, no! It wasn't the fulfillment of some wish I had for Atkins to "go under," although I confess that was pleasant in and of itself, so sick was I of all the trendies that inevitably hop on the latest fad band wagon. No, it was the fact that Atkins could file for bankruptcy. As I remarked to my wife as she delivered the news, "At least they still can. Can you?"

That's what triggered my appreciation for the fact it's August once more. Congress is not in session for a whole month! Oh, those folks we send as house members and senators to Washington to represent our interests. Those folks who preserved Atkins' right to seek bankruptcy protection while going belly-up but restricted ours as favor to the banking and credit card industries! For the next 30 days or so, those august folks are on August recess!

That means we can go to bed at night not fearing the morning news of how we were screwed overnight by our representives (in our best interests, of course). God, how I'm going to enjoy the next month!

So fear not the news of the passage of an energy bill formulated in secret by a former energy CEO--our vice president--and leaders of that industry, the intricacies of which we who will pay for it have no right to see . Never mind that your tap water may have a taint of oil, or your coffee tastes a tad more chemical. That's only because the new energy bill has lowered drinking water standards--for the energy industry. (Fret not, our taste buds are incredibly adaptive.)

Forget our fabulous new, improved and toughened Bill of (shrinking) Rights made permanent under the U.S. Patriot Act by our senators and representatives last month.

Never mind that the CAFTA vote in the House revealed a voting machine error. Perhaps the powers that be, emboldened by their successes in the 2000 and 2004 national election thefts are now taking it to the next level--the U.S. Congress. It may be stealing national elections will no longer be necessary. They'll just rig congress' votes on bills.

Imagine, there may come the day when the House and Senate are ruled by Democrats but, strangely, the bills they vote on support a neocon agenda because of phony vote counting! (This may explain the Joe Bidens and their puzzling anti-progressive voting. They're preparing us for that day. They're numbing us. We won't even suspect rigged voting machines in the congress! In fact, if we could just get more Democratic senators, like Biden, who voted against his constituent's interests on the bankruptcy bill, and more House representatives like the 15 Democrats who supported CAFTA, voting machine tweaking may be totally unnecessary!)

But I digress. Oil in the water? A CAFTA strong-armed passage that basically makes generic drugs totally unobtainable for some of the poorest people in the world? Billions of dollar giveaways to our vice president's energy cronies? Rigged voting machines in our congress? Chill! For the next month enjoy. Our representatives are in recess. Empty chambers of congress can't hurt us. Enjoy, barbecue, go to beach!

Now, while they're away, we have only to content ourselves with our president's mischief.