Those dizzying statistics

I recall a college semester spent in Statistics. I suspect statisticians are angry because its reputation as "The Dismal Science" was stolen by the Economics Department in the 1800's. As a result, Stat instructors nationwide have been punishing students ever since.

Before the days of Starbuck's, statistics homework assignments required dosing with massive amounts of anti-inflammatories consumed in combination (or was that permutation?) with coffee and No-Doz in psychotropic amounts, one ream of paper and pencils. (Then, pencils came in reams too.) It never helped, but we always hoped.

With college statistics behind me, I find 'em much easier to understand. Mostly because I learned well to avoid them.

For example, yesterday I stumbled across the following one in the middle of some NPR story. It went like this:

The total number of hours spent by our House of Representatives on collection of witness testimonies on whether President Clinton mishandled his holiday greeting card list? Answer: 140 hrs.

Number of hours devoted by our House of Representatives to investigate U.S. prisoner abuses in Afghanistan, Abu Ghraib, and Guantanamo? Answer: 5 hrs.

See? Now that's statistics made comprehensible! But why am I still left swooning? Maybe because I'm so impressed with the streamlining process for reviewing really important scandals now that we're under the guidance of the moral majority?