Message from the future

May 5, 2009:

Nearly three months after imposing martial law, things are settling down nicely. Attendence at the mandatory Saturday morning rallies for the president's weekly message is climbing. The public mumblings at all rally point locations around town are calming. It may be the required medications dispensed at these meetings are establishing the growing calm witnessed in recent weeks. That and the mysterious culling of complainers from our ranks.

Dissidents refusing to wear white to the president's pep talks have become fewer each week. Rumors are that those who don't conform to that law go to the new 1,200 bed "county prison" just north of the city where they are processed and prepared for rendering.

Sadly, "Alex," a 13 year old neighbor's daughter disappeared after last Saturday's pep rally and hasn't been heard from since. While dressed in the prescribed white top, we learned hers had a peace symbol on its front. Hopefully, if she has in fact been processed for rendering, at least now she should be getting the medication needed for her extreme asthma condition she was been unable to afford after being disqualified for CHIP insurance coverage by the president almost two years ago.

There are some among the public said to be pondering secretly the lack of any live images of the president since late March, but the good news he has for us more than makes up for it.

"We are making progress in Iraq," he told us this past Saturday. Is that exciting, or what? For if this continues, he will be bringing some of the troops home over the next several years, he promised. This should help shore up our forces against the ungoing Allied invasion landings now underway in Florida.

While it's been more than four and a half months since news came of the French, Russian, Iranian, and Cuban Allied Forces establishing beachheads at Forts Myers, Lauderdale and Port St. Lucie, with all news channels nationalized last year (something many Americans suspected really happened in the '80's or '90's), we have been unable to confirm rumors these Allied invaders have now joined forces and are marching northward to "liberate" Orlando.

We have also been unable to verify that other parts of the gulf coast are under assault as well. Wild rumors of the loss of New Orleans 10 months ago to a battalion of French Foreign Legion and Venezuelan Freedom Fighters are just that--rumors, with many disgruntled Americans joking privately, if so, the Crescent City may finally be rebuilt!

The president also sounded hopeful the remaining half of the 5th U.S. Naval Fleet that hasn't been sunk (the aircraft carrier, USS John C. Stennis among the losses) or disabled and abandoned may soon be set free since being held captive in the Persian Gulf that became an Iranian shooting gallery after they mined the Strait of Hormuz. This is encouraging, for if we are able to apply these additional naval forces around southern Florida, we will be able to halt the French and Russian ships from ferrying Allied forces into Florida at will, the president assured us.

So all in all, Saturday's presidential pep talk was extremely encouraging, leaving many of us anticipating the latest news next Saturday. Plus most of us are really looking forward to our medication. While we don't know exactly what the hell's in it, everyone agrees it's pretty damn good!

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(Note: Being just over the border, many of the "rumors" cited herein come from Juarez television stations. Unable to verify these stories, I've labeled them rumors.)

(Photo attribute: Mrs. Dada - taken last weekend at a demonstration against an ASARCO refinery's [a major Super Fund polluter] reopening within El Paso city limits.)