Swimming with Sharks

Scientists confirm what only a few have dared to fear: Jesus may not return in human form!

In a mystifying event that has scientists and Christian evangelicals scrambling to explain, it appears the Second Coming of Jesus Christ may have unwittingly occurred in 2001, just eleven days before the two thousandth and first anniversary celebration of Jesus' first coming to Earth. According to the story on "Hard-boiled Dreams of the World's website:

"Three sexually immature, female hammerhead sharks were captured and put in an aquarium at Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo in 1998. Three years later, on December 14, 2001, one of the sharks gave birth to a pup.

"Recently, teams of scientists from Belfast, Nebraska, and Florida concluded DNA tests that failed to detect paternal DNA. These genetic tests proved the unbelievable, but obvious: the baby shark had no daddy."

While many strict New Testament adherents (and some powerful political leaders) expend much of their mortal efforts trying to ignite Armageddon, thus fulfilling biblical prophecy by triggering the Last Judgment and ending the world as we know it, most are praying this shark pup was not in fact the Second Coming of Jesus which would have signaled such end times.

That's because, tragically - before it could be removed from the tank, the baby shark was killed by a stingray.