Pictured: Planet Earth, as seen here at home on the fringes of its
galaxy, the Milky Way. How to get there: Take a right at Pluto and
head downwards toward Pluto's sun (aka "The Sun") until you come
to the mostly blue planet. (NOTE: If flying upside down, reverse
directions.) That's Earth. It's the one with a single white orbiting
moon (aka "The Moon"), Luna, which at least once every 28 days
of its orbit around Earth is blamed by some for "moon madness"
(more commonly known as lunacy). Actually, The Moon, as cause
of the insanity exhibited by Earth's dominant inhabitants residing
there, is not at all responsible. The race, called Man, is fatally flawed
genetically, making them a bunch of lunatics (so called in honor
of the moon for which they blame it on).
Earth is well known by other residents of the Universe as the Milky Way's "State" Mental Ward. Every galaxy has one, but their's is especially amusing because of its uniqueness. As one galactic manual describes it,
"Earth cultures have one basic thing in common: They are all dysfunctional. Once a culture has decided which dysfunctional aspects it wishes to represent, it raises a flag to declare its position, packages its preferred brand of dysfunctionality for consumption at home and abroad, and passes it off as a national heritage to be proud of and protected at all costs." *
Sadly--or maybe not--Earth is dying. Until it does, however, it's a great source of entertainment for neighboring galactic residents. In an Earth week from now, the planet will celebrate another Earth Day. Some people will pause and pay homage to their dying planet. But not being the commercially rewarding holiday of a Christmas or Mother's Day, Earth's driving economic interests will once more show little interest.
And despite pleas made that day by environmental groups like Greenpeace and people's little third graders, the leader of Earth will on that day plant a tree, maybe recycle his coke cans, pay lip service to the children and ask of those concerned for the future of the Earth: "What? What'd you say? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
As a result, not many inter-galactic outsiders visit the Earth asylum any longer. As has been reported by some who have, "Keep in mind that this planet is no model for rational thought, and that what passes for sanity there is sending chills down the spine of the remainder of the universe. " *
But for those who live there, who are stuck there, "Happy Earth Day!" You sure are amusing to the rest of us!
*Attribute: "E.T. 101, The Cosmic Instruction Manual For Planetary Evolution" by Mission Control and Zoev Jho
4 comments:
What a great post, Dada! My Wildlife 2007 calendar doesn't even show Earth Day this year. All those wild animals a certain % of calendar sales were supposed to help must've already arranged alternative planet accomodations. However, they did note "Administrative Professional's Day" (Apr 25). WTH?
Re: lunacy ... here is one way the moon could actually have inspired homo insaneus: looking up at our largest nightlight & seeing the utter devastation there, totally devoid of anything that could sustain life, might not certain dysfunctional persons have been driven insane with the desire to see a similar landscape closer to home? In saner times, these people would've been driven to the fringes of society, confined to a marginal existence. Today, they are our leaders, our movers & shakers, with their oily fingers on the button that controls life.
I sure hope our legacy isn't limited to "Asylum Earth" vs a "Non-life supportive Earth". Ooops, what am I thinking, we've already got Asylum Earth in the here'n'now.
ps, maybe bush could use his recycled coke cans to construct a set of those children's walky-talkies (you know, 2 coke cans stung together), so he could actually hear the children of the future as they accuse him of mass murder. ~~ D.K.
I think Mother Nature has about had it with the human race.
My calendar says that Earth Day is April 22 this year.
yes -- happy earth day!! a bit early but the spirit is good!!
Hey, hey....what happened to the Bush pic of him straining to hear? It's been removed and I can't put it back up!
Maybe the white house didn't think it complimentary of him?
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