Monday, March 19, 2007

My cup runneth over, or where the hell's the damn mop?

As further evidence Homo sapiens is exceeding the limits of its ecological niche, I enter into state's evidence exhibit 37c, the iPod Toilet Paper Holder with "4 Integrated high performance moisture free speakers that deliver clarity and high quality sound" as featured in yesterday's Sunday paper.

This latest capability of your iPod allows you to 'finish up' without missing a note or word of your favorite sounds or streaming podcasts by dispensing toilet paper as Iraqis without bathrooms are getting their asses blown off while our government, in our names, continues its endless, often mindless, debate on how best to mop up that little mess.

Any segment of a species which cannot abide by the natural limits set for its own sustainability without soiling its nest with lethal chemicals, without exterminating entire populations of its own or can't relieve itself without its iPod has a date with the dustbin of history.


azgoddess said...

wow -- tell me it's not so....

but it is -- at the university i work at, i see the kiddies walking down the street - with ipod headphones in both ears and reading a book

ignoring the world around them

and i often wonder if their world is just as painful to live in as ours? and they feel as helpless as we do?

and this is their way of dealing..

D.K. Raed said...

OMG AZ, the body snatchers have arrived at universities, the pod people?

We simply have to get one of these for GWB. Maybe a solid gold one for the WH exec washroom. Fill it with old Andover cheers and Yale/Harvard fight songs (boola, boola) to lull him into complacency. Then spike in a few subliminal messages, like "resign, you moron, and take all your cunning incompetent evilmongers with you". Nah, probably wouldn't work ... unless ... we could make the voice sound like God, huh? ~~ D.K.