Nowhere to run, baby, nowhere to hide

I missed much of president Bush's press conference yesterday. That's because I was distracted by the process of switching satellite servers. But I did catch a little here and there. Stuff like Bush reminding us, "It's a dangerous world" and how we're going to "win the war on terror." Or my favorite, "My job is to protect this country." At one point these tiresome phrases had me speculating that maybe president Bush is no longer alive. Maybe these images we see of him on TV are the clever reconstituting of old videos with the same trite message, only in front of new or different backgrounds. Or maybe he has a impostor dummy spouting his words? I mean, how many times can we Americans hear the same shit over and over before we begin to get suspicious that Bush may not be among us, the living?

Maybe Bush died years ago in some kind of unfortunate accident. Like maybe he really choked to death on that pretzel. Or perhaps fell off his bike without a helmet or something. That's because in all of those press conferences, the media asks Bush the same questions. I'm surprised more Americans haven't become suspicious. Or maybe they just stopped listening years ago.

One would think the press might ask Bush about issues that are really terrorizing Americans like growing personal and national debts, health insurance, the tossing of their Bill of Rights, record oil company profits in the face of shrinking standards of living or how the U.S. spends a higher portion of its GDP than any other country on health care but ranks behind 36 other nations, or why we're first with most people living in poverty among the 17 leading industrialized nations on Earth. Or how about why we have the largest defense budget on the planet, yet can manage to still lose two wars simultaneously. Stuff like that, but always it's images of Bush saying how it's his job to save us. I'm beginning to think what he's really saying is, it's his job to save himself.

Okay, maybe Bush is still alive because much of yesterday's press conference was concerned with Bush trying to legalize laws he's been violating with impunity, even though his answers to questions in that vein were still the same, "It's my job to protect Americans."

And if Bush is still with us, I'm real nervous about his reassurance his party will retain control of both houses in the November elections. After all, there's a lot at stake for Bush. Like, namely, his ass.

I remember how self-assured he was in 2000 after it was announced he'd lost Florida but he smugly refused to concede it when--miracle of miracles--while I was sleeping that night, Florida's vote count took a strange twist! But that's a topic for a whole different blog.

But that got me to thinking how Bush can't afford to lose his congressional support in November lest he be forced to face some really unpleasant possibilities. So maybe his desperation to change the laws which he has been violating for years now is really not out of fear of terrorism as it is out of fear of this man, Duane "Dog" Chapman. See, "Dog" here is a bounty hunter. You might have heard of him. He's been in the news recently. And, unlike Bush trying to find Osama, "Dog" is pretty good at getting his man.
If Bush doesn't scare congress into changing the laws for him, he could be the target of Duane here or any number of other bounty hunters when Bush leaves office, whether by impeachment or successful completion of his term in January 2009.

As a fugitive from international tribunals, Bush along with his buddies Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Rove, Alberto Gonzales and a horde of others could find themselves on the international list of "Most Wanted". And as old "Dog" has shown us in past successful bounty captures, seeking refuge in countries like Mexico where bounty hunting is illegal doesn't stop him. Nor will it likely discourage any determined persons driven by huge, handsome rewards that will likely be offered for war criminals and international treaty violators.

For the president, that thought alone should be real terrorizing.