How sad is it that U.S. president George Bush and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad appeared before the U.N. this Tuesday. Same day. Same building. I imagined how this might have unfolded in the Universe, just one over from our own.
In our world, after delivering his speech on the floor of the U.N., Bush is waiting for an elevator when one opens its doors. Inside stands Iranian President Mahmoud. But rather than "share a car," Bush opts out, saying, "I'll wait for the next one."
Now it's obvious, the U.S. administration's disdain for diplomacy. This is no more evident that in its choice of its queen negotiator, secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, formerly a Chevron oil tanker. Rice, under Bush, shares the same disdain for tact and diplomacy as her president. Provocation in the form of a big stick is her preferred negotiation tool. Meaningful contacts with leaders of nations she plans to bomb are seemingly shunned at all costs. She prefers meaningless diplomatic propagandistic photo-ops instead. Rice's negotiating tactics consist of, "We have the bombs, they will do our talking."
But I couldn't help but fantasize when in that parallel Universe the doors of that elevator opened, Bush agreed to share that ride with Iran's president Ahmadinejad. And imagine, to melt the tensions between these two headed for an inevitable showdown and possible World War III, Bush instead resorts to the same disarming, charismatic tactic he's used all his life, whether it be a first encounter with a Yale co-ed, meeting his dad's business acquaintenances, or breaking the ice with new and nervous White House interns or aides. Imagine as the elevator doors close, Bush extends a hand towards Ahmadinejad and says, "Pull my finger."
(Dada note: Sadly, the above scenario might have exactly the opposite effect of that I'm hoping for if we're to believe Hugo Chavez's testimony that more than a day after Bush, El Diablo, appeared at the same podium as the president of Venezuela, Bush's odoriferous presence there was evidenced still by the strong smell of sulfur, a trait noted by Chavez that is known to follow such devils.)
4 comments:
you think Bush was trying to avoid encountering Ahmadinejad? I'm beginning to think it was the other way 'round. Seems like they are 2 sides of the same coin to me, both saying the same things, neither listening to what their own citizens are saying. But then dickheads don't have ears. D.K.
D.K. - Oh, absolutely--they're both a couple of loose cannons, but I'm only concerned with the one that's more threatening to me, to you, and the rest of us. And that would be El Diablo.
I always love a good fart joke. Thanks, Dada.
Aw shucks PT, thanks but it tweren't nuttin'-- I owe it all to Hugo.
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