Maybe the reason I don't sleep well at night is the fact the last thing I see and hear on the little TV screen in the bedroom at the close of each day is the 'news'. This insomnia has been going on for almost six years now, beginning right after the Republican National Convention nominated George W. Bush the summer of 2000.
Living in Texas under his governorship, it was difficult to stop laughing the first few weeks. I figured if that was the best the GOP could offer the nation, and if the nation was dumb enough to buy it--which would never happen--but if it did, we'd at least be rid of the joke that had been our governor the past six years. The joke would be on the nation instead, not just us Texans! And watching coverage of the campaign on that little screen at the end of each day that fall, it became evident very soon that something very strange was afoot.
We learned Gore was a joke. He believed in global warming. This from a delusionary who "invented the internet," the little TV continually reminded us that fall. And in those post~debate coverages, heaps of praise were piled on Bush because, for an idiot, he didn't screw up too badly like everyone was expecting him to! In fact, the press told us how he'd won those debates because Bush's bumbling and stumbling, mutterings and stutterings, instead of detracting from his candidacy, actually enhanced it! A bond was formed between The Idiot candidate and the nation's idiot viewers.
George Bush was a good ol' boy. One you'd invite over to your patio for a barbeque and beer. But as I heard Martin Short say on the radio over the weekend, when you board an airplane, you expect your pilot to be the best damn pilot he can be. Same when choosing your brain surgeon, pre-op. You choose people you assume are very competent at what they do, not because they're likeable enough to invite over to the house.
So why in the hell would any sane American want a bumbling, self-humbling good ol' boy leading the world's strongest military? And most of all, who'd invite a joker like Bush over for a barbeque on their back patio? (Frankly, I suspected the thought of George Bush just knowing where you live would be enough to scare the hell out of all Americans.)
But we didn't know that then. That was before we got acquainted. Before all those photo-ops like him with one arm around a fireman, the other holding a bullhorn atop a rubble heap, or the one of him on a carrier deck embracing 5,000 sailors, or hugging a national guardsman in front of a New Orleans post-Katrina backdrop, or a black girl in front of her flattened Mississippi neighborhood. It was an easy leap from those disturbing pics to Bush on my patio with his unwiped barbeque sauced hand around my neck, complimenting me on the ribs with which "You did a heckuva job!" (Talk about jolting one from a night's sleep.)
Well, the fall of 2000's long since behind us and what looked like a very funny joke to me at first, soon saw my sleep pattern deteriorating into full-blown insomnia. The laughter faded. And like I said, it's been almost six long years of this. Reading up on sleep loss, relaxation techniques are suggested. Things like deep breathing exercises, or an election held without Diebold computers tabulating the results. But I don't suspect either of those will really change things anytime soon.
And so, when I awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat around 3:00 this morning, I knew it had happened again. The last thing I remember of the nightmare was the front door to my house being knocked in by an uninvited platoon of storm troopers sporting night vision goggles and M-16's.
Then I remembered the last thing I saw on TV before going to sleep. It was just a small story of "Texas National Guardsmen are training for urban warfare this week in Austin, Texas." It explained how preparedness is the key to responding quickly to the next terrorist attack on US soil. It was then images of the indiscrimminate destruction of Fallujah flashed across my mind just before I had drifted off.
I guess that's why I awoke in the middle of last night sensing the impending Ramadification of my hometown of El Paso. Of door to door combat on my block. Of peering up at the small end of an M-16. Of seeing emblazoned on my intruder's shoulders the insignias of the Texas National Guard and not feeling safer, but very eerily like an frightened Iraqi.
And I rued how back in 2000 republicans hadn't sought out someone qualified to do the job of president based on his experience. Not someone you'd invite over to the house because of his "charisma".
4 comments:
Dada, as DK’s oft-referred to but rarely heard from husband, I wanted to wade in a little here.
It’s one thing to have nightmares in your sleep, quite scarier to realize the nightmare is happening when you are awake. Like your knowing Bush’s real character from your Texas preview, I was a student in the Univ of Calif system when Ronald Reagan was elected Governor (which automatically made him Chair of UC Regents). Although the California electorate fell for the “fatherly, genial” appeal that would later bamboozle America, the students knew he was a dangerous idealogue. The first trickle of the neo-con and Christian evangelical political influence that has, today, become the torrent washing away constitutional democracy began under Reagan.
So, I relate to your spectator’s grasp of the W phenomenon. As tempting as it has been to think of the Bush voters, and Bush himself, as morons, I believe Americans who opt for the candidate who pulls off the image of the “everyman” do so to make more palatable their own mediocrity and mental shallowness.
And if the result is dishonest war, loss of hard-won freedoms, runaway deficits, and rampant intolerance, well, grab a beer and turn on American Idol, then go to bed with the comforting knowledge that you won’t have the nightmares that Bush’s critics suffer.
EK
Blogging at 5:00 AM with visions of Bush in your cabeza? Take a Benadryl and get some sleep. It ain't worth it!
Eljoven
Hi EK: Thanks for the comment. I think you said what I was trying to say, only you said it more succinctly.
Yes, if only I could distract myself with doses of American Idol, maybe I'd, "Don't worry, be happy."
But I am following the other half of your advice daily (ahm, that'd be the 'grab a beer' part).
Of course, there's my neighbor whose answer to questions I may have about his president are always, "You're not hungry, so what are you worried about?"
Funny, but that's always the last thing he says before I launch into orbit.
(Probably watches American Idol?)
Ah, but you (& probably your neighbor, too) ARE hungry -- for peace, justice, competent leadership, etc. Dada, I think we're all having those same nightmares; those same thoughts are rolling around all our minds: the need to protect & defend, to feel in control of our personal space seems especially strong in the wee hrs. It can wake you up in a cold sweat at 3am, or in my case, prevent sleep until exhaustion finally sets in about 3am. Jeeeez, I'd recommend ambien except wouldn't want to see ya out driving at 3am, on your way to a congressional "vote" ala patrick kennedy. or maybe another culture's habits would be more appropriate since the weather has turned so hot here in the SW ... take a long siesta nap in the afternoon. for some reason the bad dreams seem more distant during daylight hrs. D.K.
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