Major shift for U.S. foreign policy!

WASHINGTON (Dada) - The United States, in a major policy shift toward Iran, said on Wednesday it would join key European powers in talks with Tehran if it suspended its nuclear enrichment program.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, in the boldest admission of her shortcomings as chief diplomat of the Bush administration to date, said she would "ride along" with the leaders of Germany, France and Britain the next time they meet with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Not as backseat driver, but just as backseat observer, she said.

Rice emphasized Iran should not view her presence as a threat. She has promised not to speak out independently of her three European allies. (It is still being discussed if--in an effort to keep Iranian apprehensions to a minimum--Rice will sit behind a one-way mirror in an adjoining room.)

"I will attend the meeting just to see how diplomacy is done," Rice promised. She expressed great excitement and hope of learning much from the Europeans and Iranians in the effective use of tact and persuasion to resolve diplomatic differences, not only with Iran but other nations judged to be belligerent to the Bush administration such as Syria, North Korea, Bolivia, Cuba, Venezuela, China, Russia, Indonesia, Micronesia, Polynesia, Zimbabwe, Louisiana, France, ad infinitum.

This may signal a major move of Rice away from her normal roughshod diplomacy methods of threating to "democratize" Iran by reducing it to a nation of post (nuclear) anihilation rubble like their now successfully liberated neighbor, Iraq.

Rice's statement could be seen as further easing of tensions between her president George Bush, and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, coming as it does just months after Rice backed an Iranian initiative to deny United Nations consultative status to organizations working to protect the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.

The announcement by the State Department of policy that may signal a major diplomatic shift suffered but one minor setback. That came when Rice momentarily relapsed by saying her attempts to learn diplomacy from the Europeans, however, should not be seen by the Iranians as indication of weakness or compromise by the US.

"As I learn to talk openly to others with whom I have issues, Iran should know they could still incur 'great costs' if it continues to pursue nuclear weapons, in which case I may have to forgo the difficult task of negotiation and resort to the easier diplomatic channels of my B-2 bombers!" Rice said.

Some viewers of more cynical persuasions see Rice's latest move as mere cotton candy. "All fluff, no substance," one remarked. "That way, when negotiations inevitably break down, as they are ultimately destined to do," he continued, "Rice will resort to her bombers, as she chides the international community, 'See, national interests are best served by the easier, less time consuming diplomacy of explosive devices dropped from 32,000 feet or launched safely from the decks of ships in the Gulf hundreds of miles away.'

"Just because I'm a highly educated black Christian woman, do not," as Rice had once warned in the lead-up to war with Iraq in 2002, "assume I have no balls! Oh, I have the balls, but even better," she assured, "I have the bombs, and balls with bombs is a very dangerous combination."