Another losing season for the Pirates.

Pirates team owner, George Bush

General Tommy Franks revisted:

Who can forget, just three days after the U.S. invasion of Iraq, General Franks had this to say.

"This will be a campaign unlike any other in history."

Three years after the U.S. invasion of Iraq, Dada has this to say.

"Looks like the same old bullshit to me."

Another highly decorated military leader misguided by the rows of multi-colored hubris on his chest and an eagerness to please his delusionary commander-in-chief who speaks with God.

That's a requisite quality, however, of a well trained soldier, to carry out the orders of his leader unquestioningly no matter how misguided those orders are. But that quality of blind faith in one's leader as requisite for martial success, is also the same quality that often leads to the most colossal failures. And then factor in Frank's commander-in-chief's only military experience was dubious at best, criminal at worst. And his previous experience as a leader of men was a foray into baseball team ownership that resulted in more personal financial gain for himself than success for his Texas Ranger's team. One begins to suspect there's a problem.

And if you look at this as baseball instead of a run at global domination, so much of the promises made were of a team leader of a franchise very desperate for a winning season. Tommy Franks, as manager of the Pirates, is now gone. Long since retired, it's obvious what was promised to be something totally unique and special has turned into just another dismal losing season he left for some other bastard to manage. (Hell, the last game wasn't even played in the right stadium!)

A new season, a new campaign!

But it's springtime again and Pirate team owner, George Bush, is looking forward to a new season, a new campaign with renewed optimism. Looking towards a season opener against a different opponent just across the east river in Iran Stadium, Bush is exuding the confidence expressed by last season's manager Franks. And this season will be different, he thinks.

Sadly, however, one has to look at the U.S. military's team record compiled over the past 60 years. With the best damn players, uniforms and equipment money can buy, our Pirates repeatedly fail to live up to their promise. They should be the premiere team of the league, but save for the lowly franchises of a Panama or Grenada, they seem incapable of beating anyone. But other ragtag teams whose only advantage seems to be their home field and a passion to defend that turf lay waste to our team of all-stars.

Maybe the Pirates just don't have the passion of their opponents who seem deeply inspired by the hubris of a general manager like Tommy Franks promising to rout them, or his team owner, George Bush, whose previous experience of dismal failures hints at his incompetence as businessman or incapabilities to successfully lead anybody in anything.

Whatever the reasons, in the past 60 years the U.S. Pirates military team has compiled a truly abysmal won-loss war record. If the U.S. were a sports franchise, wouldn't it have been sold years and years ago to a new, more capable owner and moved somewhere else, like Toronto, maybe?