WORD TO THE WISE(ass)

I suspect Karl Rove and I have something in common: we both went to high school. Well, if so, I'd like to share something with Karl. It's a little thing I learned from one of my best teachers, Ms. "O.", who taught (for me) those hard to grasp math classes like algebra, trigonometry, and calculus. And she taught them impeccably. She was very left-brain gifted. In my three years under her tutelage, I never saw her make a mistake.

But what I really learned from Ms. O. was not in the classroom, but a lesson she gave to me long afterwards outside classes. And because Karl Rove and I both went to high school, I thought I'd share this with him.

"I know you're considered a brilliant political strategist, Karl. I agree, if "brilliant" includes taking down your enemies by any means possible. But you have to admit, it's also easier to appear the "genius" many consider you when you have the Supreme Court and Congress facilitating your dismantling of successful government controls/programs and erosion of everyone's constitutional rights.

"Well, I've been reading about your alleged involvement in the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. I'm pretty sure you're much too sharp to leave evidence leading to your direct involvement in such a treasonous act. I mean, that's what assistants and power delegation are for, right? To keep your fingerprints off any damning evidence. Unless, of course, things have been too easy for you for so long, you've gotten careless.

"So here's the lesson my old math teacher, Ms. O., taught me. Despite being very good at what she did, manipulating numbers and making complex calculations with ease that were extremely abstract and incomprehensible to me, Ms. O did make a mistake.

"You see, Miss O. finally erred one day in her car. She pulled out in front of an oncoming lemon-ladened semi-truck. That was probably her very first and certainly her last act--she made a miscalculation!

"That's the lesson I just wanted to share with you, Karl. That, despite your brilliance, despite the ease you currently enjoy manipulating people with the aid of a friendly government, financial backers and propoganda machine, don't get careless. Be ever vigilant. Like Ms. O., don't miscalculate. Always look both ways and, certainly, watch your backside for oncoming semi-trucks!"