Have You Ever Seen a Mad Cow?

So far, it's been a great birthday weekend except for a few minutes. Yesterday my wife and I ventured over to my favorite brewpub for a couple quaffs on draft. On our drive over, we passed through the massive dairy "factory farm" gauntlet lining the side of the interstate. It's the only part of the journey that's unpleasant--the sight of all those gentle beasts borne solely to serve us.

Sometimes it triggers memories of a grade school field trip in Los Angeles. After learning the different "models" of cows like guernseys, jerseys, and holsteins, we were rewarded with a day at the dairy. The dairy turned out to be a dairy product manufacturing plant. It was interesting to see the "Fun things with milk!" that can be done. At the end of our tour we were rewarded with free ice cream sandwiches.

Looking back, I realize this was part of my citizen-as-consumer indoctrination so generously sponsored by Carnation. Spending summer vacations on the farm, I had the pleasure to meet real cows. They weren't at all like Borden's logo cow, "Elsie." They didn't talk. But they were nicer than Elsie. You could tell it by looking in their eyes. They weren't trying to sell me anything either. But they gave and gave of themselves for us. Some gave us milk. Some didn't. Those are the ones we ate.

But in all those summers on the farm, I never saw a mad cow. In fact, they have the gentlest eyes of any creature I've ever met. And they're so undemanding! A little field with some grass pretty much satisfies 'em.

But those unfortunate enough to live on modern factory farms aren't fairing well at all. In 100 degree heat, with not enough shade for them all, they have little to live for 'cept chow time. They can't even "snack" between meals because there's no grass. Instead they live in huge pens carpeted by several feet of their own excrement. I don't think Borden's Elsie has ever had to endure the indignity of standing in 100+ degree sun all day in her own shit.

Next time you get the chance, look into a cow's eyes. You'll never see a mad cow in there. Not even on a factory farm of those standing all day in the hot sun in heaps of their own waste. You'll see the gentlest of animals, there to serve you.

"Make mine a double cheeseburger!"