You think the tiny folk can reclaim a little satisfaction vs. the Powers That Be? WRONNNG!

I've always prided myself in doing our taxes by myself each year. (Well, not exactly, I enlist the help of TurboTax, which I use to do not only our income taxes, but the mother-in-law's as well.) But armed with that and 'my brilliant accounting accumen' (sic), I've always had the bravado to curse the screwed up income tax system of this country saying, "If I and TurboTax can't solve it, 'Fuck the government,' they can go without!"

If I have been distracted from blogging these past few days, it's because I'm choking on my words. With two weeks til the filing deadline approaching, it appears I may have to swallow my pride.

My first mistake came in bragging to Mrs. Dada -- after completing the M-I-L's return, "I filed electronically!" It was free, no printing a return, preparing/stamping it for mailing, etc. Within five or six hours the return was kicked back -- apparently an irresolvable conflict with the M-I-L's date of birth between Social Security and the IRS.

Then came our return. Seems last September we received a check in the mail -- the result of a class action suit we joined some years ago and forgot about. It was against our mutual fund company whose brochures back at the end of the last Century looked more like a promotion for a ski resort than an investment company. But, hey, it was the "Age of Irrational Exuberance." Everyone in the market was getting "rich", right? (Ask our former sorry-assed and irrationally exuberant Fed Chairman, Alan Greenspan.)

Why, hell!, I confess: Back then I was thinking if the bloated stock market continued after Bush won office in 2000, I'd probably be a Republican by '04 and vote for the bastard's reelection, right? Just like all our fat, sorry-assed conservative friends (now former friends).

But that didn't happen. We lost money. But our mutual fund investment advisors kept skiing and living the high life, assuring us our retirements were secure with them.

So this past September comes the long since forgotten lawsuit settlement against this company for their questionable trading practices in the form of a check for $359+. A FREAKIN windfall that extends the Dada's comfortable, care-free life expectancy another week and two days!! But here's the part I didn't pay a lot of attention to in "the warning" (in bold type) about cashing the check, to wit:

"CAUTION: Before you deposit or otherwise negotiate this check it is very important you understand the tax implication that my arise in connection with this payment."

Long story, short, I ignored it. I figured the $359 was our entitlement and I would simply claim it on our '08 taxes...but I couldn't have been more wrong.

And now I am faced with several alternatives after searching for the proper way to claim/pay for/resolve this "windfall" -- without any help from TurboTax. It appears I've finally reached that pinnacle of American financial success, i.e., I need financial advice!

My choices go from pretending I forgot to include this on our 2008 return and spend the rest of my life in dread of every day mail as it is delivered to the house that it may contain an official looking envelope from the IRS, to filing an extension, admitting I am no longer capable of interpreting IRS tax codes and go to H&R Block, or one of numerous tax preparers, and fork over a goodly portion of our last September's "windfall."

But here's the real kicker: Over the weekend, we received yet another check in resolution of another class action lawsuit against this same ski-bunny company. In a moment of what should be glee, one of unexpected monies to pay for an extra week or two or groceries, we are instead confronted with the same "Before you deposit or otherwise negotiate this check....." warning.

And now, instead of a windfall, I'm seeing this newest $check$ as a curse and, pending the outcome of the first one, I may decide it's cheaper to just concede to the threat, forgo the money and burn my latest god-damned settlement check's "windfall" I can't really fuckin' afford!

Whoops!

The U.S. Senate Foreign Relations Committee is having an open public hearing today hosted by the University of Texas, El Paso titled "U.S.-Mexico Border Violence." Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., the chairman of the committee, is presiding over the hearing that will include several other U.S. senators and Rep. Silvestre Reyes, D-Texas.

The above conference is being text streamed 'live' via computer. Dada wishes to note, the statement....

"President Barack Obama plans to redeploy more than 200 million federal agents to border posts and the Mexican interior and redirect $500 to combat smuggling of illegal drugs, money and weapons,"

was incorrect and has since been amended to read,

"President Barack Obama plans to redeploy more than 500 federal agents to border posts and the Mexican interior and redirect $200 million to combat smuggling of illegal drugs, money and weapons."

(With apologies to any and all citizens locally or nationally for concern or panic the original mis-transcribed text may have caused, even though it sounded reasonable to Dada.)

Important updates!

The War on Terror is over!

All bloggers and news media: Please update your government-speak dictionaries as follows:

The "War on Terror" (WOT) is now officially over. Government and media will no longer use this obsolete terminology due to its close association with Bush/Cheney and torture.

The former War on Terror, now under the Obama administration will from now on be known as the "Overseas Contingency Operation," or the more pleasantly sounding acronym, "OCO," (most probably derived from the 1970 John Lennon lyric, "I just believe in me, 'OCO' and me," from his hit song entitled "God.")

This just in: U.S. Air Force Lockheed F-22 Crashes in California

Whoops! F-22a, America's newest weapon in its Cold War arsenal against Afghanistani
terrorists (er, sorry"contingencies"), Russians, and Los "Angelinos." (With apologies,
this may be a file photo from an earlier F-22 crash during its testing phase?)

Wed. 3/25 - The crash of an Air Force fighter jet, an F-22A Raptor, has occurred near Edwards Air Force Base, CA. It is the first since the newest jet in America's arsenal of Cold War weapons became operational in 2007. The U.S. is buying 183 Raptors at a cost of $354 million a pop (whoops, sorry -- make that $354 million pieces -- ugh, Freudian slip, my bad -- I meant $354 million apiece*).

Some speculate the crash couldn't have happened at a worse time with president Obama to decide next month how many more of the expensive exotic jets the U.S. needs to defeat terrorists in Afghanistan and Mexican drug lords in Latin America and Los Angeles.

“ 'The timing isn’t great for the aircraft’s advocates, but I can’t imagine one crash being an effective argument against additional procurement,' Richard Aboulafia, analyst at the Teal Group in Fairfax, Virginia, said in an interview.

'I can’t think of a modern-generation fighter that hasn’t crashed either in operational use or in testing,' ” to which Dada says to those worried about the F-22A or any other weapons system that shows signs it doesn't do what it's supposed to:

"Not to worry. Look at the tens of billions of dollars the U.S. has spent on the development, testing, and deployment of the world's greatest anti-ballistic missile shield that has never worked."

As with accepted U.S. policy on any new weapon system it wants, "Failure is never a deterent to procurement."

(*NOTE: When you can't even get 3 F-22s for a $billion bucks, somebody, some-
where really, REALLY ought to take "Junior's" god-damned charge card away!
We're in a depression for Christ's sake. War is something we can no longer afford!)

Coming Soon! to your neighborhood?

Map of Mexican Drug cartel "franchises" across the U.S.
For more precise locations [red dots] of the nearest
outlets in your area, visit
NPR's Mexican Drug Cartels in the U.S.

Dada feels for the residents of places like eastern Montana, the Dakotas, New Hampshire, Maine, etc. who must drive so far to acquire fine imported drugs, which leaves me pondering: If you're a victim of the U.S. economy, out of work and in urgent need of a job with good income, maybe you should consider the career opportunities available in the franchising business?

Out of this world!

This past weekend, an El Paso representative of A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition was in D.C. to "celebrate" the sixth anniversary of our war on Iraq. Today we received some photos from him of the demonstrations that took place at the Pentagon and major weapons providers of the Department of Offense, like Boeing.

The top photo of a small group of Free Republic counter demonstrators shows what they actually said to veterans for peace. The very similar but different photo below shows how their message transmutes and appears in a parallel Universe, one over from our own.

NCAA(r) March Madness(r) on Demand

(NOTE: Any new postings to Dada's will appear below this March Madness.)

I enjoy a little hoops during March Madness. While not particularly attached to any of the teams in this years tournament, I tend to root for teams west of the Rockies or the underdogs. I tried out this program yesterday and was very pleased.

NCAA(r) March Madness(r) on Demand allows you to view any game (live) you choose (free!) without the network switching you to another game because your favorite team happens to be beating their opponent by 25 points, causing you to miss the rest of that game. Similarly, if the game the network is showing you is boring because it's a rout, you have the option to move to another game of your choice. (And we wonder why commercial TV is feeling challenged by the Web?)

(If you choose to "Grab It", you will be asked to install a small Microsoft program called Silverlight, a quick, simple install.)

Bullshit of the day:

The following regarding Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner's playing loose with struggling tax payer's dollars comes from AP:

"Obama said that if Geithner offered his resignation, the answer would be, "Sorry buddy, you've still got the job." CBS released excerpts Saturday.

"Obama noted that corporate executives would better understand the public's outrage over bonuses if they ventured out of New York and spent time in Iowa or Arkansas. There, he said, people are thrilled to be making $75,000 a year with no bonuses." (my emphasis)

"Still, Obama said ordinary Americans are more concerned about having a paycheck and being able to pay college or medical bills than they are about 'the news of the day in Washington.' "

Dada note: Well, we have been a nation of somnambulists thus far in the 21st Century, but this is beginning to change. Maybe it's little things like the escalations of war in Afghanistan and hostility in Pakistan, the misleading testament we are leaving Iraq and oh, yes, those former Wall Streeters in the Obama administration and our congress who still think nothing of allowing million dollar bonuses to fat cats be footed by American tax payers.

Dada Note:

I'm currently side-tracked with a couple of issues...little things like getting taxes done, an auto recall, eye exams, etc. And there's exciting news on the horizon as well. (More on that later.) But for now, here's wishing everyone a safe and very Happy St. Patrick's Day! (Hint: a drop or two of blue food coloring will turn that pint o' beer a delightful green!)

Where have all the flowers gone?

File photo of poppies from March 21, 2005

Today is the annual Franklin Mountains Poppies Celebration. It's that time of year when the wild poppies bloom here in the desert on the slopes of the Franklins. While we live in a very suburbanized area, we are extremely fortunate to be only three blocks away from this open desert. That's because there exists unexploded army ordinance from the mid-20th century beneath this beauty, once an artillery practice area.

And this is the wonderful advantage of that: Before drooling developers can litter the mountainsides with more of their endless strip mall sprawl like that on our valley's floor, the government must first clear the land of hazardous explosives which could prove extremely costly. Wow, could it be -- there actually exists an advantage to not cleaning up a waste site?

Poppy-less photo from this past Thursday.

Thursday my editor Sam sent me on assignment to shoot some photos as preview for this weekend's annual poppy celebration. Sam said he'd tag along, help me select good shots. (I suspect Sam had ulterior motives, i.e., it was an excuse for a walk.)

As you can see, the poppies are a no-show. One of my faults is always trying to reason why these things happen. I wondered if the poppy-less landscape might be some kind of flora protest at the fact we're still at war, escalating our losing efforts in the "Stans", Afghani and Paki. I concluded that's probably unlikely as the mountain slopes of 2005 occurred at a time when we were successfully blowing the shit out of Iraq and Iraqis.

Perhaps it's the dismal economy with the resulting dire implications for an empire collapsing in on itself, but I doubt that too.

I've concluded this year's poppy-less slopes are most likely from lack of rain and that most poppy seeds have decided to take this year off. I don't think Nature really gives a damn what the hell we humans do.


So when Sam and I returned home, I took this picture of a lone poppy that had sprouted through a crack in our sidewalk. I suddenly had a new appreciation for this year's crop, such that as I was trimming out front later, I didn't have the heart to mow down this "weed."

The wonderful world of science! (Or Dada has a PETA moment.)

Several years ago I paid a visit to the zoo. It was on a Memorial Day weekend and it was hot. I supposed the zoo was far busier that holiday than it normally would be during the week.

Strolling down the trail past the 'exhibits,' I paused beside a pair of chimpanzees in their outdoor compound. They were sitting atop a large rock sunning themselves. I watched for several minutes as the public attempted interactions. Some were pretty goofy.

The chimps just sat there placidly staring back at us, coldly emotionless. In fact, as I stood there, I soon realized the inane attempts of the public trying to get the chimps to react were far more animated and amusing than the apes were. They were outshining the monkeys! As I walked on, I imagined one chimp saying to his partner, "It's a real zoo out there today, huh?"

This all took me back some years earlier to a visit to the Portland zoo. The camel and the penguins still stand out in my mind. But there was a very special moment that left me emotionally in tears. It was outside the indoor cage of a lone chimpanzee.

A group of four teenagers were having a ball harassing, then laughing at, the chimp who sat motionless watching the youngsters enjoying the infectious hillarity they shared. I was incredulous at the teens 'monkeying' around, not just for themselves or the chimp, but anyone else in the vicinity as well. It was then the chimpanzee did an amazing thing.

Without hint of emotion, he casually got up and strolled to the back of his cage between the dangling ropes and tire swing for a drink of water. He then returned to his former place next to the silly teenagers. Resuming their taunts, the chimp suddenly shot his mouth load of water at the kids. They wailed in laughter. Only because there was a glass wall between themselves and this monkey. I had to leave as the tears welled up in my eyes.

SCIENTISTS MAKE AN ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY!

Well, this week we learned that the knowledge base of science continues its endless march forward. I'm referring to the recent story about its latest discovery. Apparently, as a result of keen observations, we learned that much like ants, squirrels, blue jays and geckos, etc., chimpanzees make plans! Isn't that just fucking amazing!

This astute scientific conclusion was reached after observing "31-year-old alpha male started building a weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a hailstorm of rocks against visitors, the study said," causing Swedish scientists to conclude, " apes can plan ahead just like humans"! Holy shit, that's pretty damned incredible!

Conclusion of scientists: "These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way," said .... Lund University Ph.D. student Mathias Osvath. "It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events."

The behavior of this aggressive chimp in Sweden's Furuvik Zoo was very reminiscent of the similar behavior Dada had witnessed at the Portland zoo, leaving me to ponder how much further along animal behavioral scientists would have been today if only that Ph.D. candidate had been with me in Portland thirty years earlier.

Hence, at this point, Dada would like to make a suggestion that might save scientists a lot of time observing chimpanzees in the future. I know how they love to anthropomorphize by assigning human characteristics to actions of not just monkeys but the entire wild kingdom. However, no matter how long they observe chimps, they will never find them constructing banks and stock markets to swindle other chimps out of their rightful belongings. Nor will they discover chimps have secret caches of missile spewing drone aircraft or nuclear weapons to anihilate millions, perhaps billions of their fellow monkeys to defend the empires they build. That's because the apes don't build banks, stock markets, empires or the weapons required to defend them. That's also because there aren't billions of 'em to kill either. Sadly, they number about 300,000 globally.

So save yourself some time, science. You'll find the chimpanzees do not possess such amenities indicative of the advanced culture humans enjoy. Nor are they likely to ever possess such. That's because monkeys don't enjoy the extreme intelligence of your species. They are not as evolved as you are. Nor is it likely they ever will be, especially if you and your science has its way and succeeds in blowing 'em to oblivion. Including yourselves and millions of other species along with them, of course.

Such are the advantages of enjoying the benefits of being the most advanced intellectual species on the planet, I suppose.

Included in this blog: A movie's 'All Time Best Line' (no. 37), free Stewart video, and possible resusitation of meaningful protests in the U.S.(?).

Okay, I was going to post the latest (greatest) Jon Stewart rant here this morning. Things came up. One distraction led to another. So when I finished breakfast under the new Daylight Savings Time clock at 12:45 this afternoon, I was really ready for a nap. Well, because of that and the gray, gloomy weather that's been going on for (almost) two days now with occasional very light drizzle that always makes me nervous I may suffer a S.A.D. lapse like I experienced over 30 years ago when living outside Portland, OR one dreary December.

It's the kind of gloomy sunless day when, if you walk into a little Main Street Oregon boutique and the cheery proprietor comes up and says, "It's a beautiful day, huh?" leaving you and your spouse exchanging glances in between glancing outside where's it's lightly drizzling as you look at her and try to respond without laughing. If you're not from Oregon which I happen to be, you probably haven't a clue what I'm talking about. If you are, you know. (Please web foots, no nasty responses in the comments section, okay? I know what you endure and love and admire you for it.)

So now it's a post-nap late afternoon of a totally sunless Monday. It's the kind of day that probably inspired Fats Domino to write a song that made him millions of dollars. As I finally got back to the computer to finish my blog I decided to check others blogs to see if anyone had posted that great Jon Stewart video yet! "Oh my God!" From the small circle of blogs I regularly visit, I see several have all ready "scooped" me.

My spirits sink for the moment. So, okay, I'll just post it anyway as an afterthought, a kind of, "In case you haven't already seen Stewart's 'call to arms' somewhere else, you can still catch it here" (below). So there. There is my preamble (and amble and amble) to today's blog. What follows is just as originally written almost 12 hours ago before distractions, late breakfast, nap -- all under gloomy gray skies.

******************

In Dada's never ending search to bring you the greatest lines of Hollywood's best (and worst) movies ever, I am pleased to upload the latest excellent excerpt in the tradition of "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room" line as spoken by U.S. President, Merkin Muffley in the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964).

Today, another "Great Lines" (No. 37): "Did you know in 1985 Gorbachev tried to eradicate vodka in Russia? People wouldn't have it though." (as spoken by a supermarket checkout clerk to Henry Poole from Henry Poole is Here, 2008)

******************

So why was I impressed enough by the above line from Henry Poole is Here to post it? Well, apparently Russians take their vodka seriously enough to get really mad when it's threatened by their government. Fortunately for Americans, there is nothing so dear to us as vodka is to the Russians that would cause us to get all huffy, making our government shrivel and recoil.

According to Naomi Wolf, the daughter of San Francisco Flower Children and 60's protesters, that's because for Americans to take a stand for something they feel impassioned about (which isn't a whole lot as already noted) it's gotten more and more difficult over the past 30-40 years. For example, just to 'walk the walk' today you need a parade permit. You can no longer walk in the street, block traffic and, "God forbid!" hinder commerce without one.

Likewise, to 'talk the talk' using your right to free speech as your Constitution (formerly) guaranteed, you need to confine yourself to a pre-approved designated *free speech* zone, which most often is far removed and out of sight of the people for whom your message is intended. No longer can you "voice" your opinion within earshot or egg throwing range of your 'targeted audience.'

As protesters, your rights to meaningfully demonstrate, even peacefully, have been gutted. I suspect during Bush's pre-Iraq invasion build-up where millions who protested were ignored, nothing more than amusing chuckling points resulted for the elite powers that be.

But take heart Americans! There are signs that may all be changing. Real policy affecting protests may soon enjoy a revival if Jon Stewart, Rick Santelli and their supporters are any indication. And it won't be over the future of vodka by hordes of Russians. It may be over something the politics of the last 30years haven't succeeded in reigniting. Nay, the protests ahead may be over the result of harsh economics. Econmics now biting at the asses of all Americans.

≈

"In case you haven't already seen Stewart's latest
rant somewhere else, you can still catch it here."

From the only species intelligent enough to print newspapers comes: Today's Headlines!

INTERNATIONAL:

"North Korea threatens war if satellite is shot down."

NATIONAL:

"Sixteen arrested for fighting at non-violence concert in Silverspring, MD"

STATE:

Proposal by Texas representative Joe Driver (R., Garland) and senator
Jeff Wentworth (R., San Antonio) would make Texas the second state to
allow students to defend themselves with guns on university campuses.

Running for your life!

Dada is reminded: Sometimes one's role as leader is not born out of
the desire to 'show the way' so much as it is to avoid being trampled.

In a parallel Universe very, very close to our own....

We are informed today ex-Quest CEO, Joe Nacchio, will report to federal prison on the 23rd of March to begin serving a six year sentence for insider trading.


Per his "Welcome!" orientation packet sent him from his minimum security prison in Pennsylvania, Nacchio has learned he must provide his own bowling balls and shoes, golf clubs and, if private transportation is desired, his own car/driver.


While chess sets, bathing trunks and tanning oils are included, the leisure activities brochure reminded that a limited number of hangars for corporate jets are also available, but these are on a first come, first served basis. (Plane not included.)

Curing my dysfunctional co-dependence on my country

Co-dependency - a relationship in which one person is psychologically dependent in an unhealthy way on someone or something -- such as the nation -- that is addicted to a drug or other self-destructive behaviors such as an uncontrollable lust for global domination, or untempered greed that sucks its citizen's wealth into the private coffers of a few (in offshore accounts like Swiss banks).

CO-DEPENDENCY

The following is a list of characteristics of my co-dependency with
my country (with the cracks in my co-dependence in parentheses):

1. My good feelings about who I am stem from seeking -- and recieving -- approval by you. (Only because it keeps me from being behind bars.)

2. Your struggles affect my serenity. (i.e., I've come to realize your greed and your war on terrorism abroad has created a far greater source of domestic terror -- the total collapse of the nation from within!)

3. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain. (Well, mostly solving your problems, "Fuck your pain.")

4. My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.*

5. My mental attention is focused on protecting you.*

6. My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.*

7. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.*

8. My own hobbies and interests have been put aside. (Instead of creating wonderful pieces of art, spending more time outside in the yard with my dog, I blog to try to save you from your own self-destructiveness. Granted, with absolutely no success.)

9. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies (...with others who increasingly disapprove of them, too.)

10. My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you. (Actually, the inverse of this is now true. That's because as you destroy the lives of more and more Americans, we are beginning to see ourselves in each other and less in you!)

11. The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours. (This last one is becoming the biggest fallacy of all for the more and more of my tax dollars you pour into saving the Wall Street, K Street, and the Capitol Hill bastards or mainstream media who created, permitted, or promoted my misery, the less and less I give a fuck what happens to you!)

* Nos. 4 - 7: These have become hilariously funny -- LMAO!